Kid At Heart


I will be the first to admit that I am not a completely mature adult. (Despite what my boobies may say.) It seems people that go around being adultish at all times are generally unhappy people. I find that life is best when one goes around with child-like enthusiasm. (at least sometimes.) Also, it is beneficial to the soul to always have time to play. Here is the list of child-like activities I have devised to help you along:

Playing games: While Chutes and Ladders and Candyland are fine choices to help maintain innocence, I prefer slightly… altered games, such as strip poker, naughty dice, and drunk Monopoly. I suppose beer pong could be included in this list, however, I find the concept of dirty ping pong balls in alcoholic beverages appalling.

Swinging: One of the best inventions that live on a playground is swings. There’s nothing better than leaning back, closing your eyes,and pumping your legs while feeling the wind in your hair. The only way to increase your pleasure would be to invest in a sex swing…

Bursting into song: I think Disney and Rogers and Hammerstein had the right idea. When you feel those strong emotions come over you, I urge you to sing a few bars of whatever song is in your head at the time. I guarantee you’ll feel great! If you are not partial to musicals, warble away at Balls to the Wall or Ten Seconds to Love.

Reading: I realize that many children find reading to be a huge bore. Those kids are just dumb. (Was that harsh?) Who cannot find joy in reading “Fox in sock and chicks with bricks and chicks on blocks, Sir”? And just because his books were written for children doesn’t mean Shel Silverstein won’t entertain the most mature of souls.

There are many other ways to entertain yourself, especially with kid’s toys. (Such as finding new sex positions by posing Barbie and Ken, and don’t even get me started on the Phonics Caterpillar that you can make swear.) Bouncing balls off of children’s heads is also highly amusing, but nevermind about that.

7 Comments

Filed under Books, Children, Entertainment, Family, Humor, Life, Sex, Uncategorized

7 responses to “Kid At Heart

  1. I agree with all of this, walking around so tense all the time is just unhealthy.
    But I do have one question for you my dear, Your boobies can talk?

  2. They can’t talk. They just make basic consonant sounds, like b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b.

  3. 2 things
    1, I believe they are, they grow things.
    2, Mr. Hotspur, that’s the sound you make when you see magic boobies.

  4. I lloooooooooooovvvee Shel Silverstein! I am greately upset with myself that I do not own all of his books. Secondly, when I open my own daycare will you come work for me and be my librarian? Pssssttt…..as a bonus…no one has to know what happens when the lights go out at the end of the day..wink wink ;)

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