For some reason, thoughts of my childhood desires just popped into my head. Here’s just a few of them:
1. I used to want braces.
I believe it is because of my distraction by shiny things that I originally wanted a brace face. In the 80′s where I grew up, there was not yet such things as colored rubber bands or jewel-toned braces. They were just plain silver. The thought of getting my braces stuck to those of my childhood crush in a passionate kiss was also something I found wildly romantic. There may have also been a slight need to be exactly like my older cousin who ended up being Miss Teen USA. Just to be clear, she didn’t always have that perfectly-formed Crest smile.
2. I used to want to be Michael Jackson.
Before his nose fell off and people only thought of him as that weirdo who touched little boys, Mike was a pretty cool cat. I’m sure millions of teen girls in the 80′s lusted after his feminine voice and Jerry-curl ‘do. But while most girls were wanting him, I was just a little 7 year old wanting to BE him. I believed that if I could just perfect my moonwalk and squeal in just the right tone while grabbing my crotch, I’d be the King of the World. Yes, there were many times when my gender was a constant source of consternation to me back then. Luckily, I have since learned to embrace my womanhood, and my DDD’s.
3. I wanted to marry Don Johnson.
But back when Miami Vice was not in re-runs, who didn’t? Sadly, my older friend always made me pretend I was dating Sonny’s twin brother, while she got the original. Bitch.
4. I wanted blue eyes.
I remember reading a book in school about a missionary to India named Amy Carmichael. She too, suffered from the dreaded curse of having brown eyes, and prayed to God daily for ocean-colored ones. I do not deny that I did the same. For her, it worked out. But since I have no intentions of dressing like a Easterner, I’m still waiting for God to change His mind.
5. I wanted to star in The Neverending Story.
Sadly, it had already been filmed by the time I realized this. For the record, it would have been massively cooler if Atreyu had been a girl.