Woohoo! 2 postings in one day! Aren’t you all so lucky? Here is a poem a wrote in the height of my depression days. That’s the thing about unmedicated bi-polarism. You end up with poems like this. Enjoy!
Shitty black days with the sun beating down,
my brain screams in agony
and sneering smiles are all around.
All I want is to tear those smiles up.
Coming down from a high
when there was no substance abuse
The thought slams into my mind,
How can I be of so little use?
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
It hails down on my heart
the realization of never having made a mark.
It matters not if They say
“You matter. We care.”
Doesn’t matter. Not today.
Say what you want.
it don’t mean a thing.
Piece of shit. Sinner. Cunt.
In my ears,my true names ring.
Sick, twisted anger.
Rage. Despair.
These are what is left.
The only feelings there.
Maybe if for one split second
I could feel the warmth of God’s face;
but all I feel is the lick of Devil’s tongue.
And hate has taken loves place.
“Fuck him!” the furies of my head scream.
Satan’s whore. They know what I am.
But I’ll make it a dream.
I’ll don a mask of perfect peace and smile,
though I feel his teeth ripping my guts;
exquisite pain,
til a Bleeding. Broken. Heart.
is the only thing that remains.
Sparklebumpsthebookwhore 