Daily Archives: September 10, 2011

The Cruelty of Children

They say that children are cruel. I know this is true because I was one of the cruel ones. At least a little bit. I was picked on more than I ever picked on anyone, I’m assuming because I was 5’3″ and 130 lbs by the time I was 10, but I did have my moments of wretchedness. You would think since I am now grown, and haven’t children of my own, I would be insusceptible to the bullying that I was subject to. Not so. I have vowed to tell mostly the truth in this blog. So here goes…

My Rockstar has a 9 yr old daughter. That in itself is not the issue, though I believe a 9 yr old son would have been easier to deal with. When we began dating, my RockstarĀ  was a bit dubious when I declared my position as a potentially awesome step-mother-like figure. Perhaps it was because I have next to no experience with children, or perhaps he was aware of the Daughter’s and my dispositions and need for attention. Who knows. Let’s just say he may have been right.

While the Daughter is quite affectionate, (which I love) at times she can resemble Regan from The Excorcist. (during the really scary part.) Mainly these incidents originate when she is told to do something she doesn’t want to do; I understand for the first 7 years she was babied and not really disciplined, but COME ON. I am going to use a phrase I never thought I would- when I was a kid. When I was a kid, if I acted that way I woulda gotten my ass beat. I do not in any way condone corporal punishment, but I DO believe the FEAR of an ass-beating should be instilled into cerebrum.

The episode that prompted me to compose this post has happened more than once. Last night, everything was misleadingly copascetic. We ate dinner, they played tennis (I detest running) and I read a “bednight” story to the Daughter. Then it was actually time for sleep. I have largely given up trying to actually get that kid to stay in bed after I’ve tucked her in. I just go to bed, since she doesn’t feel compelled to listen to me. I was engrossed in reading my bio of Dolly Parton (Yay Dolly!) when the Daughter comes into our bedroom

The Daughter: “I’m sleeping in here.”

My response is to remind her that she doesn’t listen very well.

Me: “You better get in bed, since daddy has already told you 3 times.”

The Daughter: “You know, I am the Queen and I live here. You are just staying here for a little while. Maybe YOU should go to bed.”

I admit. If it was a kid I didn’t know, I would probably be laughing too. However. Having a 9 yr old tell me my living situation( and my relationship) is on probation irked the hell outta me. (It also made it impossible to sleep.)

My question is, I realize this is something that my Rockstar needs to address with his Daughter. Or with me. If I am to be a built-in part of their lives, she needs to get it through her head. If I AM on probation, then I would much rather just be told to get the fuck out now. How am I supposed to instill respect into a 9 yr old who doesn’t even understand the concept? And yes, I am 29, but it still hurts my feelings to be bullied. I don’t like it when events in my life make me want to say, “Fuck this shit.”

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Filed under Children, Family, Humor, Life, Love

Suckage Part 1- Shame on you, Stephanie Meyer :Twilight

I shall be blogging later about the more important things in life later (namely me), but I’m cranky about that right now, so I shall delve into my multi-parted rant on vampire literature I have entitled Suckage. And so we begin…

I have long held a fascination with any book depicting the Un-Dead. I read Dracula when I was 11. And I believe I was turned onto Anne Rice novels because I caught the end of the movie version of Interview with a Vampire. Oddly enough, that was not the first Anne Rice book I read. Though her stories are somewhat gloomy, I think her writing style is superb. Anyhoo, this rant isn’t about Anne Rice.

Enter Stephanie Meyer. Once upon a time, when Sparklebumps got hired at a little used bookstore, she was bombarded with customers asking, “Do you have the Twilight books?” and “Have you read the Twilight books?” Now, I am ashamed to say that I was a little bit behind the times in the area of Young Adult novels then, and had never heard of these mysterious books. A few months after hearing these questions repeated had me intrigued, (as did a shiny boxed set of the series at my store.) and I decided to begin this “epic” saga. First, I would like to say that I am not entirely fond of books being written in first person, but if the writing is done well, I will forgive the author. A quick premise (in case you have been living under a rock)- Bella is the new kid in town and falls in love with a GOOD vampire (Edward), while flirting with an old family friend (Jacob). Bella is dull and has the SWEETEST smelling blood Edward has ever smelled in 100 years (what are the odds?) and with teenage angst, he suffers through the whole book trying to tell Bella they can’t be together. Then some BAD vampires (who actually drink human blood) show up and wanna eat Bella, so there is this “epic” battle where Bella almost dies, but doesn’t. (DAMN it!) It ends with the dorky couple going to prom, while Jacob looks on in torment. At least that’s how I heard it goes. I got 30 pages into Twilight and had to stop. It made me irate that Stephanie thinks we are all so doltish that we needed to be told how beautiful Edward is EVERY OTHER SENTENCE. If he is so beautiful, why the fuck does he want the mouseish lummox Bella?And I understand her writing Bella as a character pre-teen girls can relate to, but do we REALLY want our daughters trying to simulate someone devoid of personality? But wait! Bella is the “grown-up” one, taking care of her divorced parents, yet she is immature enough to fall in love with the first boy who want to eat her, while being completely oblivious to the handsome boy WITH a personality who doesn’t wanna munch on her. The only way that Stephanie Meyer used her talent is to write in such a way that makes you want to keep reading. But I didn’t, because I have good books I need to read. Stay tuned for my next Suckage post.


Filed under Books, Humor, Life, Love