I Will Do Nothing Today. It’ll Be Great

The illusive Day Off. I suppose technically I had yesterday off, but I DID have to drive to church and get paid, so that counts as work, right? I also ended up making caramel rolls that turned out pretty awesomely. So…. what shall I do on this day that I really don’t HAVE to do anything on?

A year ago, I would have slept until noon. This seems like a good thing to do on a day off. And it was. Sleep is one of my favorite things to do, which is weird since I think it is a complete waste of time. Unfortuneately, I am really no longer a Child of the Night. My Rockstar leaves for work at 5:30 AM, and I have trained him to kiss me goodbye in the morning, so I usually get up soon after he leaves. Today, I had to take his daughter to school, so I suppose I did have one little thing I HAD to do. I’m back from that now; I made sure to have all the laundry and dishes done, and I scrubbed the floors this morning so I don’t feel guilty sitting on my ass for the rest of the day.

Lap dances.I always have this great idea that I’m going to come up with seductive and bewitching lap dance routines for my Rockstar. He used to frequent the strip clubs in his less-seasoned years, and he probably would still if he had any extra cash lying around. I told him I want to go to Sugardaddy’s for my birthday, but I do believe he is a-scared he shall lose my affections to a stripper. While there is only a slight chance of that, he would most-assuredly lose all his money to one. So, instead, I have vowed to be the awesome girlfriend that I am and try to keep it exciting at home. But really, what is a lap dance? You sit on his lap and grind around, stick your boobies in his face- you know. I’m quite good at those things already, although the boobies in the face happens unintentionally at regular intervals mainly because they are DDD’s. Oops. So I think I won’t practice lap dancing today.

Masturbation. I’ll say it again because it’s so fun- masturbation! Not really much to say there except this is one of my favorite past-times, and I do it quite regularly on my days off. Everybody should give themselves a hand now and then. Sadly, it has no long-lasting adventageous benefits.

Bad Tv. Since I am rarely home alone, there is limited time in which to watch those peurile shows and movies that I am ashamed to admit are my guilty pleasures. I know I am not the only one who will sit through an 8 hr marathon of Sex and the City, or find a thrill out of watching Demi Moore scream, “Suck my dick!” in G.I. Jane. And so, I may just have to find that DVD.

Blogging. Since I am relatively new to the blogging world, I could spend the day surfing around, reading other people’s thoughts on life, love, and meatloaf. Or I could be motivated and entertain you all with my own misadventures and ingenious ruminations on life. I may do that some more later.

McDonald’s. This goes without saying. I rarely have a time when McD’s is serving non-breakfast and I don’t need to cook for my Beloveds. French fries are my favorite. Yes, I should really be exercising so I can fit into my snakeskin satiny pants, but really, who can say no to french fries? My diet can start tomorrow.

So basically, on my day off, I may just have to “audition the finger puppets ” while watching Jennifer’s Body, snarf down a Big Mac, shimmy around naked, and write about it later. Have a Blessed Day. XOXO