I am a very busy girl, but I must take a moment to rant. Yes, I am cranky today.
As you all know, I live the joyous life of one who gets to deal with the general public every day. I do believe you will never see such a motley group of people as those who come into a bookstore. Today, I shall enlighten you with stories of just a few who have irked me today.
Firstly, weird Asian lady. (So named by my co-worker who also has a blog, Thatgirlbehindthebook). A mysterious character smelling strongly of alcohol, she brings in bags of books to sell nearly every day, which I believe she has either dived in dumpsters for or stolen from Goodwill. She drops them off and then runs to the bathroom where it is assumed she takes a giant dump and then saturates herself with old-lady perfume before returning to get the $2 I can give her for her shitty books.
Cowboy Bob. This is the name I have allotted him because he arrives dressed in a camel- colored trench coat and a black cowboy hat. I have decided he has taken on the habit of a true cowboy of the Old West- that being never brushing his teeth, as he sports the most hideous set of yellowed chompers you ever did see. This is probably due to the fact that every time I see him, he is carrying a 64 oz. Sbarro’s cup filled with Mountain Dew. He does not buy books. Ever.
Scarred-lip lady. A boil on the butt of my bookish humanity. This woman called once, asking me to check for some books for her. That is not what peeved me. What made me detest her for all eternity is that I spent a good 45 minutes searching out a long list of books she requested, and then had her voice that, “Oh no, I’m not going to buy any of them, I just wanted to see if you had them.” That was 6 months ago. To this day, she has not bought one of them, yet she had me put a book on hold for her, came in today to ASK if we put it on hold, and then said she had no intention of buying it. Fuck you, Lip Lady.
The Book Thief. A very intelligent individual who is not brilliant enough to figure out that we are watching him when he comes in to steal World History books.
The Change People. I do not technically have a personal vendetta against these people, per say. These are a by-product of the ill-conceived car carts my mall has placed outside my store. Yes, it makes sense to have strollers readily available for parental clientele, but wouldn’t it also make sense to have the money-taker ON the strollers able to make change? What makes people think that MY store is the only store in the mall that is affably willing to give change for a $5? The fact that Mall Security is not helpful in helping said clientele disperse the strollers from their corral also makes me want to fly a plane into the building after-hours.
Oh, to all of you who have patron quanderies of your own, I salute you.
6 responses to “The Irritating, The Obnoxious, and the Grotesque”
We should swap stories. Over those coconutty drinks 😉
I enjoyed the days I spent face-to-face with the public. Usually it was masked in a haze of mood altering bliss which, I suppose, is why I enjoyed it.
Hilarious! Keep on ranting!
Great post and funny! Thank you!
No, no. Thank YOU!