Yes, my lovely bloggy people, I have just been fired this morning from my dream job, at the bookstore. The reason for this tragedy rests solely on this blog, and the fact that people have no sense of humor.
I got to work this morning to find The Boss, and The Bigger Boss, or the Owner of the store, both there. This was a strange thing to see, as the owner has much more important things to do at his other store that to screw around with us little people at the mall store.
“First of all, ” he began, “tell me about your blog.”
Aww, shit. Now I will readily admit that I have done nothing to hide the fact that I have a blog- in fact, I do believe my witty posts would BRING IN customers if they were to read them, just so they would have a chance to interact with Sparklebumps. I, however, didn’t really want The Boss to know of it, since I have spent some time on the subject of his utter idiocy. I didn’t quite know exactly what it was the Owner was looking for in response, so I decided it wise to remain silent.
“I’m fine with you having a blog, but yesterday I had a handi-capped customer come in and tell me about it, and I’m not going to say that they were freaking out, but yeah, pretty much. They mentioned something about you complaining about customers, and they were very offended because they thought you were speaking about them. Now I don’t know if you were, but i can’t have you work here anymore because there’s a possibility that you and or I could get sued if this continues. It would have been different if it was anonymous, but when you start posting pictures, then it becomes a problem.”
Well, I didn’t even get a chance to say “Take this job and shove it.” Piss me off.
I would like to take this chance to thank those who attributed to my termination.
To that handi-capped customer: You know who you are. I do not know which offense it was that so disturbed you, (as I have offended MANY MANY people, I’m sure) and I apologize for any distress I may have caused. Now that that’s done, I will give offense to you ON PURPOSE. Screw you, you selfish bastard- my blog isn’t all about you, it’s about me, and nobody tunes in so they can read about you. So there.
Boss: I know you will be waiting with baited breath to read what I have to say about this whole thing. so here you go- I feel sorry for your hermit-like existance. You have no friends because you lack a personality, and you feel the need to judge people who have different beliefs than you, even though they are the ones who put up with all your bullshit and are willing to ignore it. Your wife is in-attentive because of this, and you will find out that it’s not going to get any better. Get a frickin’ life.
BrainRants: I loves ya, dude. Thank you for inspiring me to post of picture of myself, which is what probably got me fired. I’m not pissed, because it’s my own dumb fault. Your freshly pressed fame has led to my own fame, which I do not regret.
Owner of my Bookstore: Thank you for the lovely years I was allowed to work in the paradise of books. I hope you realize how many customers you will lose because I’m not there, and how many more employees you will lose because of The Boss and his inability to edit his sexual thoughts. I hope the Soup Girl works out for you- though you will have your hands full.
Tra-la-la. That’s all I have to say about that. My biggest sadness is that I will not get a discount for the $600 worth of books I had stashed away at the store. XOXO
34 responses to “The Price of Fame Is…Termination”
Pingback: I Am Indebted To You, Soldiers | sparklebumpsthebookwhore
Pingback: Reflections on a Former Life | sparklebumpsthebookwhore
Pingback: Determination of Ineligibility | sparklebumpsthebookwhore
At least you have more time to save the world now! (And to post on your blog- where your boss will find himself being insulted by people he doesn’t even know. Revenge!)
I know! How awesome is that?!
well I’m a new follower but let me say sorry to hear that you had such a lame ass boss but also glad to hear you’re keeping the blog. I for one can’t wait to read more about your sparkly bumps. maybe if your old boss had sparkly bumps too he wouldn’t be such an idiot.
I agree. And the funny thing is, I know he will be reading my blog too. Because I’m like a train wreck- you can’t look away.
I think the owner did what was in his view, the best decision. Disruntled customers are…problematic…But anyway, good luck for the future! Now you can write your tales! xD Career upgrade, remember?
What really upsets me the most is that this was the very FIRST customer complaint, and I don’t even think it was about me. There have been SO many customers that have raved about me, and I could never get a raise. That and I’ve heard MANY MANY complaints from customers about my manager and how “weird and unfriendly” he is. Yet he gets to stay because he’s related.
I would have preferred to have a job I liked while I was writing my tales, but oh well.
Yeah. Considering you’ve always kept your cool and was pleasant. You didn’t even kick out the people who bought gross books to get their $1s…No other bookstore nearby?
I could always go work at the hell that is Barnes and Nobles. But it’s just not the same.
Wow I kinda feel bad. Seriously. I’m so sorry, ‘Bumps.
As for your dumb-ass, fucktarded, micrococked and spineless excuse for a human boss, I hope he misplaces his penis pump up his ass and has a true Chuck Palahniuk moment in front of the entire population of your town sans the entire pool. And I hope everyone laughs at him.
Don’t feel bad. It’s not your fault.
And from your description, it sounds like you’ve met my boss… when were you in my store?! You made me laugh. 🙂
I still feel bad for you and hope everyone in your town/city/county gets to laugh at his tiny dick.
I honestly don’t think he has one. He certainly has no balls.
What an Arse! really … It took a lot for me to say that over the top of my English politeness but really?! Sorry about your job.
We don’t like politeness around here anyway. 🙂
Oh good because the word I was going to use was WANKER!! 😛 so I change my comment to … what a wanker!
This is one word of the English language I don’t exactly know the meaning of, but I get the point. 🙂 He is.
Wow…just, wow. I’m so sorry. Please tell me you aren’t getting rid of the blog.
No, silly, of course not! I’m still a book whore, and I still have sparkley bumps. It will just include adventures from my new life. You guys are all I have left. 😉
So glad to hear it. I’ll save up and come to where you are, then we can go VS shopping. Aside from bookstores it’s the only kind of shopping I like. It’s also the only store that makes my size (32 DD). I’m sure you feel my pain.
Yay! VS party with H.E.! Good times! And yes. I feel your pain, but on a much “Larger” scale. 🙂
Bloody hell, that’s an absurd reason to get fired. I don’t remember you mentioning anything about disabled people, what an overly sensitive plank.
Sorry to hear that.
C’est la vie
Our Boss is incompetent and lacks the boundary and discipline required of a supervisor. He will get a small slap on the wrist for his sexual commentary he so openly shares with his subordinates. In truth, his actions more than Sparklebumps or My own through our blogs, deserves dismissal. What Jon fails to realize is that he could have a Sexual Harassment law suit on his hands rather than slander. I don’t appreciate being threatened with legal action from a person lacking knowledge in that subject. Considering that neither of us used personal names for customers it would be impossible to seek legal action against us or the bookstore. Ciao Books Revisited, I do not apologize for the things I wrote or my blog. Especially, because I started it because I worked for a company lacking in employee relations. Kristy and myself were hardly ever praised for the work we did, instead criticized for mistakes we made. This is now how to run a business. Good Luck BR, you will not be missed. And I do plan on collecting Unemployment 😀
Couldn’t have said it better myself! XOXO You rock.
I’m sorry to hear about your job- but everything happens for a reason right? Maybe you can turn this experience into a best-selling, boss scathing memoir and make a mint… I’ll cross my fingers for ya 😉
Thanks! That’s kind of what I was hoping…
This seems like one of the best ways to go out. Great job!
Thanks! If I was to be fired, I guess it’s a good way.
I feel bad that you lost this job, but it seems to me a “Congratulations” is more in order.
Yeah, oddly enough, I’m not as upset about it as you would think I’d be… of course, part of that is probably because my new boss Christophe at Pizza Hut says I can have more hours there, so destitution won’t be happening this month anyway. Thanks for the Congrats- I mean to be famous and I guess it’s kind of happening.