A month or so ago, I was checking out my Facebook when I came upon a friend request from a Mnde Mdba. Now this was not exactly her name, ( it was something very similiar) but she was from Turkey or some other country I have never visited, which confused me a bit as to why she would have requested my very important Facebook friendship. I do not have any privacy settings on my life (obviously), so I am assuming she was just cruising around looking for fabulous glittery friends and decided to pick me, so I thought “What the hell?” and approved her friend request.
A few days after that, I was on Facebook again, (promoting my blog shamelessly) when a chat box popped up from my new friend Mnde. Now I must tell you, chat boxes are a source of irritation for me, because I am usually the one causing them to pop up on OTHER people’s Facebooks, which in turn causes said people to quickly log off and pretend they didn’t see that I was trying to talk to them. If they didn’t want to talk to me, WHY the hell would they add me as a friend?! As I have said, I have no privacy settings, so any photo stalking or general cyber creeping is possible WITHOUT adding me as a friend. Anyhoo, that is for another post.
So the fact that anyone desired to actually chat to me was a thrill I rarely experience. This is how our little chat went:
Me: Hi, not that I mind, but why did you add me to your friends? (I can be very blunt sometimes)
Mnde: Because you sexy.
Me: (oh geez) Well, yes I know. So where are you from?
Mnde: Italy. I love sex.
Me: I HAVE heard that italians do. I do too. How very fun.
Mnde: You have webcam?
Me: No, why would I need a webcam?
Mnde: I want to do you. On webcam. You have pictures for me?
I must break here to tell you a bit about Mnde. It was quite obvious that her English was not highly fluent. Yes, I said HER, because when I checked out her profile during this little convo, I found out that according to Facebook she is a 15 year old cute girl from Italy who is a widow. Now, I am not so simple-minded to think all of this may be true, but I wasn’t feeling like flirting with a 15 year old anything.
Me: Aren’t you a little young? (testing)
Mnde: Yes, I am young. I LOVE sex, Sexy.
This reminded me of this little game a local radio station used to play, called Scared Straight. They would go into a chatroom and pose as a young girl and try to bait pedophiles into calling them, which they would then ream out on the air. I will state that I am NOT a pedophile, but how would this Mnde know this? I felt baited and deceived.
Me: That’s very nice that you love sex so much, but you should really wait until you hit puberty before you start having it all the time. I am going to delete you now, because I don’t need a horny little girl chatting at me all the time asking for pictures. Goodbye.
Mnde: You have pictures for me?
Obviously, Mnde doesn’t get it.
P.S. A few days later, I had another friend request from a person with a foreign name. I think they are out to get me.
25 responses to “Facebook Freak”
hahahah i love this!! so funny. LOL’ed!! Oh Italian men…;)
I am sticking with Harold -_-
I like Harold. I just might go with that instead.
Harold Edgar …
SEE!!! This is the exact reason why I have a fake name for my book/blog! My name isn’t “H” or “E” or “Ellis” so no one can ever find me! My name is very Italian/Spanish though, so don’t delete me right away if you see something European come across your facebook friends request shortly.
I am sure your name is Harold! 😛 ahaha
Very cute, kiddo.
I actually have two names, Heidi Ellis (which was my grandmother’s name) is what the Irish half of my family calls me because they refuse to acknowledge the Italian half. My real name, which 95% of the people who know me use, is too European to be Google friendly so I ditched it for the H.E. Ellis. Just easier that way.
I obviously don’t delete anyone right away, but if I try to chat to you and you can’t form a complete English sentence, you will be terminated…. deal?
You don’t seem like a Heidi. I can’t imagine you in braided pigtails living with your grandfather on a mountain.
Nope. Not even close to blonde pigtails. More like a ton of super long, very dark hair.
And for some reason whenever I tell anyone my real name the first thing they ask me is, “So are you a stripper?” If my book does go anywhere I’m thinking of changing it. H.E. gets me way more respect.
Your name is Lola, isn’t it? 😉
Now I’ve got to ask; what is it about the name Lola that instantly makes everyone think I’m a stripper? (you’re right about the name, by the way. Not the stripping). Is it because of that stupid song? I’m going to hunt Barry Manilow down and shoot him dead, I shit you not.
HAHA! That song popped into my head for some reason; i really didn’t think your name was Lola. You should shoot Barry dead, but didn’t he die from swallowing to much Man Drippings or something?
OMG – Man Drippings. That’s the first time a woman’s made me gag.
Sorry, I don’t know why I typed that….
Don’t apologize for awesomeness. I plan to use that word in a sentence at least once today.
Sorry, you know I was going to do it. I just tried to find you on FB. I picked the girl with the most outlandish name in New Hampshire….
Yeah, I shut down my facebook page recently. Real world me has got herself a real world stalker. I’m thinking of starting a new one under an alias. I’m thinking of going with “Harold.” 🙂
Oh, sad. So I just sent a friend request to a complete stranger. Now I’M the Facebook Freak….
Only if you ask for “the sex.”
Si, io parlero Inglese.
I laughed so much at this, Facebook can be a weird place sometimes … I agree with the why would you add me and not talk to me part too ahaha!
It’s just bizarre! And I’ve been tempted to delete all those people who won’t talk to me too!
Tell them!!! Be like oy!! I will terminate you if you do not talk to me!!
I HAVE posted that a couple of times…