Daily Archives: November 5, 2011

It’s Time To Read


Shame on my Rockstar and his Daughter’s Mother, for now this is the conversation I get to endure EVERY TIME we attempt to sit down and read with his Daughter:

Me: OK! Let’s pick a book! How ’bout Dr. Seuss?

Her: *giving me the look of death* ┬áNO! I’m NOT reading!

Me: Well, I guess you want to waste all day arguing about it then. You know you have to read for half an hour every day.

Her: I don’t WANNA! I wanna play!

Me: Well, you can go play after this book. Come on, we’ll do every other page. You read one, then I’ll read one.

Her: FINE. But I’m NOT reading for a half hour.

Me: Whatever.

Her: (after closely inspecting whatever book to see how many pages there are) This book is LONG! I’m NOT reading the whole thing!

Me: *maintaining patience. Barely* Just reading. You know, you’d have 5 pages read already if you’d just do it.

Her: (after rolling aroung, crinkling pages, sighing, and finally settling on leaning against me) gjpsodg ue fseegfhaosd

Me: WHAT? If you can’t read it so I can understand you, I’m going to make you read it again.

Her: (noticing the next page is shorter) You read this page, and I’ll read the next page.

Me: *deep breath* If you don’t start reading, I’m going to make you read the WHOLE thing. Read.

After a few pages…

Her: (rubbing eyes and wriggling around irritatingly) I’m not going to read anymore.

Me: Well, I guess we’re going to sit here in silence then. You know you could be playing right now.

Her: Mom doesn’t make me read!

Me: And that’s why you’re failing all your classes. Read.

Her: (after reading one word, she sits in silence, waiting for me to read the next word) I don’t know that word.

Me: Sound it out.

Her: I don’t KNOW it!

Me: Make a sound then. If you make a sound, I’ll help you.

After extensive prodding, we do finally get to the end of the book. And believe me, I am as relieved as she. It’s a good thing I dye my hair, because THIS every weekend will surely turn me grey.

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