It’s Time To Read

Shame on my Rockstar and his Daughter’s Mother, for now this is the conversation I get to endure EVERY TIME we attempt to sit down and read with his Daughter:

Me: OK! Let’s pick a book! How ’bout Dr. Seuss?

Her: *giving me the look of death*  NO! I’m NOT reading!

Me: Well, I guess you want to waste all day arguing about it then. You know you have to read for half an hour every day.

Her: I don’t WANNA! I wanna play!

Me: Well, you can go play after this book. Come on, we’ll do every other page. You read one, then I’ll read one.

Her: FINE. But I’m NOT reading for a half hour.

Me: Whatever.

Her: (after closely inspecting whatever book to see how many pages there are) This book is LONG! I’m NOT reading the whole thing!

Me: *maintaining patience. Barely* Just reading. You know, you’d have 5 pages read already if you’d just do it.

Her: (after rolling aroung, crinkling pages, sighing, and finally settling on leaning against me) gjpsodg ue fseegfhaosd

Me: WHAT? If you can’t read it so I can understand you, I’m going to make you read it again.

Her: (noticing the next page is shorter) You read this page, and I’ll read the next page.

Me: *deep breath* If you don’t start reading, I’m going to make you read the WHOLE thing. Read.

After a few pages…

Her: (rubbing eyes and wriggling around irritatingly) I’m not going to read anymore.

Me: Well, I guess we’re going to sit here in silence then. You know you could be playing right now.

Her: Mom doesn’t make me read!

Me: And that’s why you’re failing all your classes. Read.

Her: (after reading one word, she sits in silence, waiting for me to read the next word) I don’t know that word.

Me: Sound it out.

Her: I don’t KNOW it!

Me: Make a sound then. If you make a sound, I’ll help you.

After extensive prodding, we do finally get to the end of the book. And believe me, I am as relieved as she. It’s a good thing I dye my hair, because THIS every weekend will surely turn me grey.


Filed under Books, Children, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Uncategorized

4 responses to “It’s Time To Read

  1. ipegasus

    I loved reading as a kid…Actually, when I was little, it was so much easier to rhyme as well, and write cool funny poems. It was just second-nature. Now…not so much 😦
    Maybe she’s not reading something she likes? Has she read the lion, the witch and the wardrobe? When I was 10, the kid I had a crush on recommended it to me xD and I’m SO glad I read it. It’s one of the best books I ever read in my childhood…maybe her friends aren’t readers either…that could be a contributing factor as well : /

    • It matters not what I bring home for her to read. Dr. Seuss, Captain Underpants, The day my Butt Went Psycho…I have the whole Narnia series, but those are thicker than she would ever want to read. She says she likes them (even tho she’s never read them) but she would never want to sit and read them.

  2. Oh, you would have loved me as a child! I did but reading.

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