Once upon a time, there was a girl named Sparklebumps who was forced to work weekends to pay her bills. When she would come home late at night, there was never anyone to greet her, because her Rockstar and his Daughter would go to bed at ridiculously early hours.
The other night, she returned home, and though the hour was late, she was jazzed up enough from work that attempting to go to sleep would have been a moot point. (I love the word moot) She decided to have a small libation, hoping it would make her sleepy. She opened the cupborad and found that the bottle of peach brandy she had bought, (and had only drank part of) was nearly gone. She narrowed her eyes at the bottle and thought, “Someone’s been drinking my brandy, and it’s almost ALL gone! He’s buying the next bottle.”
Sparkle then looked into the fridge, intent on finishing the delicious extra-cheesy pizza she had brought home from work the other night. To her abject horror, when she opened the refrigerator door, there was no little box marked “Pizza Hut”. Growing agitated, she slammed the fridge door and thought, “Somebody’s been eating my pizza, and they didn’t even leave me one piece!”
Sparkle decided since drinking and eating were out, she would sit and read a book for a few moments. As she plopped down in her assigned couch spot, she noticed the guitar she had received as a Christmas present from her ex many years ago was not leaning against her bookcases. She had asked her Rockstar to list it on Craigslist, since she never learned to play it, and would rather have a pair or two of shoes. When she noticed it was gone she thought, “He must have sold it; I wonder where he put my money.”
So Sparklebumps went to bed un-drunk, with no money, while her tummy rumbled. She had indeed turned into a bear.
25 responses to “A True Retelling of the 3 Bears”
I would have personally eaten him!! blow job ban time … Ben knows thing have gone wrong when there is a blow job ban ahaha 😛
I believe that is blasphemy in my world…. Blow job ban? Unheard of.
Ahahaha Ben would happily live in your world!!
Would he eat my food and drink my brandy too?
Yes he would!!
He is NOT invited to my house then. 🙂
I though you, H.E.Ellis and I were moving in together anyway … I thought it could be a “Man Free Zone” then nobody will steal your food and brandy!!
Oh, yes! We must live in a castle! can you get one of those?
There are plenty of them in England … We when through this thing called the Medieval period and they build a load!!
Yes, it’s really my favorite thing to read about! 🙂
I am so gunna plan a Castle Road trip now, In my Fiat … Jealous much ;)?
I hate you. But it’s just cuz I’m drunk…
As long as you love me again in the morning 😉
Of course I love you. I’m just jealous fo the castles…
People in my house label their leftovers to keep me from eating them. That might help… and duct tape.
Duct tape… to tape my people to the inside of the closet to keep them away from my food?
So you woke him up and sent him out for booze and pizza, right???
I absolutely should have. But I got distracted by sleep.
i hateeee those nights…this was very funny though! 🙂 <33
and then the bear mauled the rockstar, ripping huge gashes into his face and genitals, while his daughter ran screaming into the night?
Well, she mauled him… but in a different way….;)
I just hope you get your money for that guitar. Pretty shoes always trump an empty belly.
He has it for me. I suppose he hid it so his daughter wouldn’t take it.