Daily Archives: November 9, 2011

A Non-Proposal

So, I will readily admit that I am much more proficient in writing than I am in actual conversation. Also, I am one of the most impatient people in the world. Which is probably why I just wrote this note to my Rockstar, which I will leave conveniently placed for him in front of the computer so he can read it when he gets home from work: (FYI, I will already be at work)

So, I’ve been thinking. You are of a certain age when you might consider settling down. (Because going to bed at 8:00 is not settled down enough. 🙂 ) I might know someone who will love you and Emmy forever if you want. But just to be clear, she may try to molest you. ALOT. Anyhoo, I was just thinking of this, because she might join the army if you don’t want to love her forever. XOXO

P.S. It’s just a suggestion. I will love you either way.

I think I will be kicking myself tomorrow…


Filed under Humor, Life, Love, Uncategorized

Sparkle 5000

Woohoo! I got 5000 hits! *does a spastic victory dance*

I am now among the elite- H.E., Rants, Megan, Kana,and Tinkerbelle.

Thanks to all the Lovelys who wasted their precious time reading my blog.

My life is now complete. XOXO


Filed under Humor, Life, Uncategorized

A P.S.A. for Taylor Swift Fans

The following is a public service announcement asking the world to stop the madness that is Taylor Swift fandom.

Taylor Swift should be applauded, for she is an insidious genius. She has taken her vocal range of six notes and applied it to a plethora of  obnoxious songs that appeal to teeny-boppers everywhere. Where would the world be without the aggravating sounds of Taylor informing us that she lost her virginity at Fifteen, while listening to Tim McGraw? I will tell you. We would be in a far superior musical place.

I entreat all readers to shut OFF their radios, until the radio stations quit playing You Belong With Me, because I hate to be the one to break it to you, Taylor, but you belong anywhere that is far from me, with a piece of duct tape over your mouth. The fact that you have deviously brainwashed all radio stations to play your songs incessently makes me cry Teardrops On My Guitar nightly.

Taylor’s exertions to deceive young girls that Today is a Fairytale makes her as guilty as Disney. I would like to here her explanation to the pre-teens who grow up and find that there is most likely NOT a white dress involved, instead, there is a good chance they will  be shopping for diapers in maternity clothes by the time they are 16 because they have looked up to her, and decided it’s ok to have sex at Fifteen because Taylor did. Shame on you, Taylor.

I believe we also should rid ourselves of the clusterfuck that is Taylor’s face. I don’t know about you, but every time I see her on a magazine cover, I think ,”There’s Another Picture To Burn.” To all you teenage boys obsessed I say: I’m sure you would be able to find a much lovelier face and body to masturbate to if you just LOOK AWAY!

No, I do not believe that we need to hear any more of Taylor’s Love Storys, because, let’s face it. The girl is 21. The only thing she has experienced is premature ejaculation and cookie crumbs in bed. If we must endure one more Story of Us– like song, I believe our brains will implode and people will be walking around with brain matter oozing out of their ears.

To the record label that so unwittingly unleashed the Taylor Beast, I have only one thing to say, “You Should’ve Said No.”


Filed under Entertainment, Humor, Love, music, Uncategorized

5:00 AM

Is there anything better than a dose of Law and Order SVU at 5:00 AM? I think not. I get to watch Chris Meloni before I’m fully dressed. 🙂 Yes, I realize I have a problem….


Filed under Entertainment, Humor, Life, Love, Uncategorized