Here is my sequal to Joe’s Junk and Other Disturbing Search Terms. I figured I had better address these bizarre search terms before I become buried in them.
Incredibly Talented Hermit Types: Naturally, anyone searching for one of these would be immediately directed to my blog.
Who should I be freinds with: How intelligent of the internet to deliver any friendless beings to me; as I will be able to assist them in their spelling as any good friend would do, as well as be the best friend they will never have.
Strange Mormon Customs: I am assuming this led people seeking info on the Mormon faith to my blog because of my post entitled Story of a Mormon Boy. However, Stories of Mormon Boys and Masturbation as a search term for my site makes more sense, as I do not believe masturbation or posting nudey pics of your butterface girlfriend may technically be considered Mormon customs…
9 yr old girl girl bumps on vagina: this is one of those search terms that delves right into creepiness, which is why it disturbs me so that whoever searched this ended up on my blog. I am unaware of what girl bumps on a vagina would be, but if they are on a 9 yr old girl, this looks like a job for SVU and Chris Meloni- which leads me to….
Naed pics of Chris Meloni: Now I am assuming the individual searching this meant to spell NAKED pics of Chris, or perhaps NEED- which, either way, it makes sense. I certainly need pics of my man Chris on a regular basis, and I would of course never turn down naked ones. This person is my bosom friends. (No, Rants, when I say “Bosom friend”, I do not mean my booby buddy.)
Disney Princess Fuck: I admit, Ariel in the Little Mermaid was one hot piece of tail (Heehee! I am sooo funny!) but any person who wants to fuck a Disney princess is of the lowest, most twisted ilk. Like those guys who say, “Hey! I don’t even have to watch porn!” when they go to the strip clubs in that Playstation game Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. (Sadly, I actually know someone who has said this.) As of yet, Disney has not approached me with a contract to be their next damsel in distress, and unless they raise their ratings to at least PG-13, I highly doubt they will. In the mean time, these sick twisted bastards will have to be content with reading my blog.
P.S. Have any of you noticed that I am not running out of reasons yet to mention Chris Meloni? 😉
Sparklebumpsthebookwhore 
You said bosoms.
That’s all you got out of that entire post, isn’t it? 😉
And probably the word Naked 😛
🙂
Actually I thought that you get far more sick and twisted shit in spam than I do, and that this is a pretty scary world when you lift the cover and peer into the dark inside part. But that’s kind of depressing, isn’t it? So why not focus on the happy stuff, and leave what slithers out from under that cover to types like me… I liked the post.
I don’t really think it’s depressing, because I realized long ago that I’m not always sparkles and butterflies… 🙂 despite what you and everybody else thinks.
Why did I not get an Email saying you had posted this!! Editor fail … you can fire me if you’d like 😦 but anyhoo (as you would say) Ben always says if I was a Disney character it would be Ariel but I am disturbed that people want to fuck her
What is wrong with the world!!
Oh, I’m sorry my editor was probably busy. 😉 And yes, the world is just a very fucked up place… so I fit in quite perfectly, really.
I know, shes a pain in the arse, I will tell her to sort herself out right now! 😉 and I think I fit in quite well too, I mean on Friday I am walking down my village, getting on a train , walking through a really rough town and into college …in my Pj’s … all for Children in Need … that’s fucked up!!
You are an angel….
And I am doing a sponsored silence, I can not stay quite… Buts its for the Children!! OMG!! I will just take my laptop… Blogging does not count as speaking right?!
hahah youre way too funny, love!! 🙂 xoxox and i Ariel is one hot piece of tail 😉 <33
Thank you! I amuse myself sometimes…