So, I decided to be a bit less creative today and go with an autotopic that popped out at me. Here it is:
If you had the attention of the entire world for two minutes, what would you say?
Since the idea of being seen by the entire world appeals to my histrionic personality disorder, of course I had to take this topic and run with it. However, since two minutes is not a very long time, I decided I would have to talk very fast in order to get everything I would have to say in. While some of it is perhaps not super profound, I am willing to pass out copies of my speech to the presidents of the world if they are so inclined to strive for world peace. Here we go:
To all women, men, children, trannies, and monsters,
It is my hope that all the people of the world can unite and quit being judgemental cocksuckers. While I do not condone killing, I believe war to be an essential evil, if only to protect innocent people from being murdered. To those of you who do not support War, I urge you to move to a different country where freedom is more easily won. Unfortuneately, you don’t have alot of choices there, do you? I DO wish that everyone could be brought home safe, but by not supporting the war, you are essentially belittling what the men and women of our Armed Forces are giving their lives for, which is just shitty of you.
To all politicians and voters, I believe it would be beneficial to the U.S. to eliminate the parties of Republican and Democrat, because the ridiculousness with which you all conduct yourselves is embarrassing. Being President or Senator are jobs that should be taken seriously, and should NOT be done with the intentions of pursuing your own personal agenda. For this reason , I believe politician should be paid “normal people” wages, so all the greedy fuckerheads would be weeded out and the remaining candidates would be there because they actually CARE about our countries future. On that note, I do not think 2 years of political commercializing is necessary; if you have noticed, everybody knows about Kim Kardashian and that whole clusterfuck, which only took 72 or so days. Politicians just need to hire better publicists.
To those who don’t approve of gays, lesbians, bi- or transgender people I say, unless you have been in their shoes, you cannot judge, and God says to love everybody. They just want to love and be loved, exactly like everybody else, and what people do in their own bedrooms is their OWN business, so why are you making it yours?
To people who don’t read I say. You should really read, because no matter what you read, you will be a little less moronic. You will always learn something from a book, and that’s never a bad thing.
Everyone every day needs to take a moment out of their busy lives and just chill, and notice the beautiful world in which we live. If it’s not beautiful where you live, think of the beautiful people that you know.
The last thing I have to say is love. If you all treat every person you meet like your brother, (assuming that you like your brother) the world will be a better place, so the next time you see someone that needs help, help them if you can. The next time you see someone that needs a hug, hug them, because they might be me. And hugs always make me feel better.
P.S. And something really needs to be done about Taylor Swift.
Two minutes, eh? I’d probably flash my boobies the whole time. I think my fleshy mounds can express all the good things in the world, and stop wars.
They must be lovely. π
Fuck it, I’ll endorse that. Awesomesauce.
Thanks you; maybe I SHOULD run for President…
The media would eviscerate me after they romped through my little personal medicine cabinet of iniquity… what would they do to Sparkle and her walk-in closet?
Not a thing. Because I would distract them with my boobies and then toss a grenade in their direction if they came for me…
well, if you had two minutes
it probably better to use graphics and bullet points behind you to drive home visually the really important stuff
like stop killing and hating each other
work and play well with others.
hmmm, maybe two minutes is too long
Well, if I had extra time I could always do a jig. Or I could point out what will happen to the world if they DON’T listen to me.
I think a jig is fun – always leave them laughing and wanting more
I’d vote for you.
(If it were possible)
Thank you. I would never run, because then somebody somewhere would want to kill me.
If you talk very fast, just tell people they have to listen very fast. It’ll work.
Yes, I shall do that. π