The title of my post came from the book Sex and the City, (which besides for this epic line, was a complete waste of my time.) I think it sufficiently describes why I now have a semi-interesting blog that I write.
No, I do not believe I come from the Ugly Patch, in fact, I clean up alright, but I am not a front-runner in the Beauty Olympics either. Being one of only 4 female cousins in my family, I was the one who would never have made it passed the first round of a beauty pageant, and the one who would never have been voted prom queen. I must be satisfied with being the one with the biggest busooms.
In high school, having been the best friend of the Pretty Girl, I focused my attentions on sharpening my piano playing abilities, since there was no way I could keep up with her in the beauty department. My mad music skillz afforded me enough attention to feed my inner histrionic personality monster. Much of my alone time was spent fantasizing about being the belle of the ball, which I think enhanced my imagination enough to turn me into the prolific writer that I am today. (That was a joke.)
I have succumbed to the fact that there are just some things I cannot change about myself (like my face), and I have given up hoping that my non-magical mirror will tell me, “Sparkle, you are the fairest of them all.” Instead, I am happy to report that my mirror no longer screams, “Look away! It hurts my eyes!” I was quite glad to realize that (in my own opinion) I am one of those people who gets better looking with age. (like Mariska Hargitay) And one thing I’ve learned- if an individual PRETENDS that she is beautifically superior, she can make other people believe it too. Luckily, I have my writing to keep their interest when they find out the truth….
Sparklebumpsthebookwhore 
I think I have the ‘ugly duckling’ title down pat, in that I grew into myself. I was awkward and shy when I was young. Now, not so much. I think maturity and intelligence outweighs a pretty face…your beauty shines with your words.
Yes, I have grown into myself too. It just all ended up in my bra….
Sparkle, being completely sincere here, you are worth a second look on the outside. However, what makes you blindingly and awesomely beautiful is what pours out of you from the inside – it’s fairly blinding.
Now, for the Neandertal statement: Mariska is soooo hot…
Blinding- like having acid splashed in your face?
And yes. She is SOOO hot. But she didn’t used to be.
No, Sparkle. Like trying to stare down the sun in July. Take a compliment. You’re awesome.
The only thing I can say is: I don’tbelieveyoubutIcannotarguewithasoldier. 😉
Okay, Sparkles, here it is: if I were not committed (marriage wise, not the institutional sense like I really need) I would definitely “hit that shit” based solely on your blog picture. Does that help? You’re hot.
Thank you, the way you put that just made me choke on Starburst spit. 🙂
I think you’re awesome and beautiful inside and out and you’ll slowly grow old and become an awesome and beautiful old woman inside and out. 🙂
XOXO.
I’ve got tiny nuggets for boobies. Thank god my mouth makes up for it. 😉 I liked this post as it didn’t focus on trying to be “beautiful” but working with what you got. I’m forgoing botox and am going to be the plump gray haired wrinkle cookie bakin g’ma. =) I am super jealous of your musical talent however. I can barely toot a horn!
When I am old, I might tend to lean toward looking like the gramma with silver eyeshadow…
Nah, beauty. That fades after a while. Humour, intelligence, and other things used as a comfort stay. Plus, you are not ugly at all. Win-win.
Well, Dolly Parton’s beauty hasn’t faded.. but I guess she has plastic sugeons to help with that…
Let’s see…Christopher Meloni made your blog, now Mariska Hargitay. Can Richard Belzer be far behind?
Actually, Richard is my secret Grot crush. That’s a combination of gross/hot. You are right. I should really do a post on him. But it’s a bit embarrassing really.
I can totally relate to this post, and I think that you are beautiful. I personally have a hard time looking in the mirror lots of times and really don’t think that I’m all that. I focus more on my crazy personality and how I can bust a grove at any moment. Plus, I do love my bosom area too, I got that going for me at least.
I, unfortuneately, cannot bust a groove…
Great post! I think too much emphasis is placed on one’s looks today and it puts unfair pressure on women of all ages, not to mention little girls. If people focused more on sharpening their piano skills as opposed to sharpening their eyeliner, perhaps we’d have more strong and confident women. You ARE gorgeous and I think it’s a shame that you grew up thinking that you aren’t. There’s an image of ‘beautiful’ that everyone has in their minds and it’s possibly the biggest lie of all time.
Well, my busooms give me confidence that I don’t have otherwise… so everything works out. 😉 But I will never be that girl that makes guys rubberneck…
Do not worry, I am not a front runner either, I would not even get into the contest!
You are beautiful.
Well then so are you!!
you’re GAWGUS dahling<3 *Nanny much*? ;*
Thank you, Nanny. 😉
You ARE beautiful.
Thankyouit’shardtobelieve.