Standing Out

Here was my autotopic of choice for the week:

In what ways do you stand out?

I could mention the obvious two (DDD’s) but you already know that.

So let me think for a moment…

I find myself to be very amusing to myself, which in turn amuses other people. Especially when I’m drunk. Only the people who’s bubbles I invade do not find me amusing.

I will always tell you what I think, but if it comes out before I can edit it in my mind, I will usually apologize for it and re-issue my opinion after further thought.

I will never be in a relationship based on the amount of dollars the man brings home on payday. I’ve considered rethinking this one, but I am much to impractical and romantic to change my mind.

I do not think that gold lame’ is only for Halloween.

My hair color changes very frequently. Oft times quite dramatically as well.

My Rockstar says I have the style of a New Yorker, which is unfortunate, since I live smack dab in the middle of Stretchy Pants and T-shirtville.

I play an instrument, and better than decently.

I can have sex like a man. (i.e. wham, bam, thank you, ma’am…or sir. I’ll call you.)

I have no bubble and I will hug…pretty much anybody. With their permission. Usually.

I prefer driving a stick shift; I can change a tire; and I know how to change my oil. (But I wait for my Rockstar to do it.)

I wore a pink wedding dress.

I’ve been told my face is different, unique, odd-looking, and ethnic. (Not all at once.)

I am maybe the only person I know who is trying to decide wether to join the army or go to beauty school.

I aced Biology, even though I didn’t dissect the rat. Or the frog. Or the piglet.

I would like to be friends with my Rockstar’s exes.

I would give my life for anybody if the opportunity presented itself.

“Life doesn’t frighten me, not at all.” (Thank you for putting my thoughts into words, Maya Angelou)

There are 47 other reasons I stand out, and they all fit on my feet.

Alone Time With ADD

So yesterday was Thanksgiving, and as you all may already know, I got to sit home alone. Since I become completely awkward and shy at family gatherings, this did not bother me as much as it probably should have. Anyhoo, I had an ENTIRE day with which to do whatever I pleased, however I pleased. Let me assure you, after yesterday, there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever that I suffer from Attention Defecit Disorder.

The morning began when my Rockstar and his Daughter left for South Dakota. They both smothered me in hugs and kisses at 6:00 AM and departed for the western plains. I decided that since it was a holiday, I did not have to feel badly about sleeping in. Several hours later, I awoke from my comatose state and rolled my lazy ass outta bed. I say lazy because I realized when I went to bed last night that I abstained from brushing my hair at all throughout the day. (But I DID brush my teeth three times.)

Since there were no duties that needed my immediate attention, I switched on the boobtube and was delighted to see that the Macy’s parade was happening. (This is one of the things that I have vowed I must see in person someday.) I quickly changed the channel, however, when Avril Lavigne started… howling. I decided to see what fun and exciting movie I could find on Netflix live, and proceeded to doctor up a delicious cup of coffee-flavored sugar. I decided to watch Good Will Hunting, and was surprised that it very closely resembled the situation that I am finding myself in. No, I am not a math genius, but I have had several people tell me that I’m wasting the talents I possess by working menial jobs for almost no pay. I believe I managed to make it through this entire movie without moving simply because I am a slug for the first 3 hours I’m awake in the morning. Anyhoo, this is about the time that my ADD kicked in.

After the movie, I decided to blog for a bit, and then thought about finishing the last 20 pages of the book I was reading. I made it through 2 of the pages, before I decided that I should do the dishes that were piled up in the sink. After filling the sink with steaming hot water, I decided that I should wait a bit for the water to cool down before I washed the dishes; so I decided to find another movie to watch. While Netflix was loading, (Netflix is EXTREMELY slow when hooked up to an XBOX) I decided to check the stats on my blog, and then to write another post. When I finished writing my 2nd post of the day, I went back to Netflix and picked out another movie to watch. While the movie was loading, I thought, “I should finish the dishes.” When I was half-way through the dishes, my movie decided to start playing, so I sat down to watch it.

About a half hour into my movie, I paused it, thinking that I would check to see what wonderful E-mails I may have received. After finding an apology from a blogger that will remain nameless, and a bunch of emails asking if I would like to buy a Russian bride, I went back to my movie. Another ten minutes later, I decided to finish washing the dishes before the water got too cold. I will not bore you with the rest, but I will tell you that is took me 7, I said SEVEN, hours to finish watching an hour and 45 minute movie.

I have noticed that I am slightly restless like this when my Beloveds are home, but when I am alone, I cannot control it. Does this come from sitting for extensive periods of time in church while growing up? I’m not sure. But it greatly disturbed me that it actually took 7 hours for me to watch a frickin’ movie. No, I do not think I could concentrate long enough to perform brain surgery. Or to learn another language. Or to give a speech.

P.S. How ironic is it that the movie I watched was about a writer that couldn’t concentrate?