Fast Food Order

This is what I should ACTUALLY be saying when I order my Big Mac Meal with a side of Chicken Nuggets…

Hi, I would like to order the grime that is stuck to the bottom of the meat grinder which mostly consists of cow eyeballs and bull testes. Can I get that on a stale sesame seed bun with lettuce shreds and “secret” sauce that is probably a mixture of chunky spum and boogers from that guy over there with the unwashed hands. That special sauce tastes delicious.

I’d like to get the biggest side order of fries you have with that; since they are specially designed to keep  fresh for months, if I don’t immediately get ass piss after eating, the french fries I will have eaten will remain freshly preserved in my  gut for an indeterminate amount of time.

Also, I would like a large citrusy drink that in no way resembles fruit juice. It will contain enough sugar to waylay any diabetic seizure I may have.

Could I get a 4 piece side of cancerous chicken flesh that has been mushed together and breaded, please? No I do not require barbecue sauce.


Filed under Food, Humor, Uncategorized

17 responses to “Fast Food Order

  1. I could gives a fuck if fries have a half-life of four million years, I love them.

  2. I haaate McDonald’s. The two times I sort of forced myself to eat it, I was deathly sick for a day. I mean deathly. It was horrible. Both times. It doesn’t even taste good. Ugh. Never again. Well… Except for the sundaes. Those are okay.

  3. Yeah, Mc D’s does make me yak in my mouth a little.


    Ok! Ok! I’m convinced … fast food bad!

    But it’s still not bacon.

  6. I get a big mac meal too. Bahahaha.

  7. Well that was less then pleasant …

  8. Gillian Colbert

    If I hadn’t already stopped eating fast food that would truly have put me off it forever! Gross, but compelling!

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