Like Ability


So I got to work yesterday and Frenchie had some surprising news for me. (No, he is not willing to give me a million dollars if I flash my boobies at him.)

“Day Lady REALLY likes you. This is the third time this week that she’s mentioned it. She also can’t understand why Scary Driver Woman hates you.”

I will explain.

Firstly, of course Day Lady and Scary Driver Woman are not their actual names; however, I haved learned from past experience that using actual names will come back to bite me in the ass.

So. Day Lady is a co-worker that I’ve only had the pleasure of meeting in the past week. She’s been employed at my place of business for 25 years, the end result being that she is understandably bitter. Before making her aquaintance, I was warned by nearly every other employee of this woman’s…. less-than-friendly demeanor. As it turns out, she just expects people to do their jobs. I am assuming that she likes me because I do mine in a satisfactory manner.

Now, Scary Driver Lady is another matter.

I was also forewarned about her, and luckily. A few people mentioned her irritating voice. What they failed to mention is how closely it resembles the squeals of a live swine being pushed through a running meat grinder ass-first. The ear-piercing shrieks this woman emits most certainly cause all the dogs in the closest 7 counties to howl uncontrollably. I have been lucky enough that the temporary deafness her voice causes in humans has kept me from hearing said hounds. The shrillness of her voice is only made worse by the constant bitching that she does- pointing out how superior HER work habits are. At all costs, I try to refrain from coming in direct contact with her. There was unfortuneately one incident where she sought me out to inform me that I was neglecting to do part of my duties. Only later did my other fellow employees let me know that she was bull-shitting me, and the duties she had mentioned were, in fact, her job.

These two women, while together, engage in bitch sessions, going back and forth about the utter stupidity of the rest of the employees. However, Day Lady has found me quite likeable, for some reason. Frenchie, my other manager Awesome (so named because she can single-handedly put together pizzas for the entire town of St Cloud on a Friday night) and I have been trying to figure out the reasoning Scary Driver Lady has for disliking moi. Awesome is convinced it’s a jealousy thing, (since I am so amazingly beautiful, you know) and Frenchie thinks it’s because I refuse to do her job for her. Since from what I can tell, she dislikes EVERYBODY, I just think she lacks the Like Ability.

P.S. As I pointed out to Frenchie, there is really no reason for anybody not to like me.

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24 Comments

Filed under Beauty, Friendship, Humor, Life, Uncategorized, Work

24 responses to “Like Ability

  1. John Denoma

    living the dream we all call “employment”. Me and Frenchie were actually discussing you today

  2. John Denoma

    Funniest read I’ve had in a long time. I know exactly how you feel

  3. Pssh. this lady needs her head examined. Cause seriously, who could not like you?!

  4. savorthefolly

    St. Cloud huh? I have some family that lives there. Interesting. I let them know where they can go for pizza and to get fucked with a strap

  5. Maybe she can’t process “Like.” She must go directly to “Love.”

  6. Scary driver lady lost her Like Ability because she was so busy being miserable she forgot how to be likable.

  7. Scary driver lady is the Anti-Sparkle. She must be stopped…or at least written about in an unfavorable light…at all costs.

  8. She’s shrieking because she is to you like millions of teenaged girls are to Justin Bieber.

  9. I think scary driver lady secretly loves you.

  10. Kana Tyler

    If Life only came with a “Like” button… 😉 At least I get to use it HERE.

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