Sinner


Good Friday to you, my Lovelys! So for some reason yesterday- perhaps because I was bored of thinking of saucing and cheesing at work (which I am very excellent at, by the way) I began thinking of the Seven Deadly Sins. I was not raised Catholic; instead, I was raised to believe that no sin is worse than the next. This thinking is still a bit ludicrous, since I believe most people would agree with me that chopping someone’s head off and wearing their skin as an overcoat is bit more dispicable than screaming, “Fuck!” when you stub your toe on the toilet, but who am I to judge? So, this morning I looked up the “deadliest” sins, and was disturbed to see that according to some religions, I belong in all the circles of Hell. I have listed them here for you, (with the Latin terms as well, so you can all be a bit smarter today) and the ways in which I have committed these infractions:

Lust (luxuria): OK, I’m sure you are all thinking that I picked this one to go first, when in fact, it was the first one listed on the Wikipedia. So there. Dante’s definition of this sin was “excessive love of others”, which I admit I am guilty of, though not in a naked way. If we go with the Wikipedia definition- desiring a person outside of marriage– that’s another story. So I guess there’s nothing more to do than tell my Rockstar he’d better marry me to keep me from going to Hell, eh? Of course, there would still be the issue of Chris Meloni…

Gluttony (gula): Wasting of food, either through eating too much food, drink or drugs, misplaced desire for food for its taste, or not giving food to the needy -I assure you, there is no food or alcohol wastage going on in my presence. However, my misplaced desire for McDonald’s french fries may be a sin. My need is assuaged when I make sure to buy myself some, though, so that makes up for the sin, right?

Greed (avaritia): This was describe as wanting more things than a person needs. But at least I USE all my shoes…

Sloth (acedia) : This is one I’m not quite as guilty of. However, I’m quite sure that someone would find a problem with me vegging out in front of the TV watching Sex and the City for 6 hours after my work is done.

Wrath (ira): Inappropriate (not right) feelings of hatred, revenge or even denial– I believe my feelings of anger toward my ex-boss for getting firing are completely appropriate. I have no such explanation for Taylor Swift.

Envy (invidia): I must say, I do not hate people for what they have, because I have more. (Boobs, that is.)

Pride (superbia): Wikipedia’s definition of this was:  A desire to be important or attractive to others or excessive love of self. I’ve been told this is a mental disease known as histrionic personality disorder.  If I were in court, I believe I would be found “not guilty” by reason of mental disease or defect…

So there you have it. Since I have seen fit to confess my sins, that absolves me, doesn’t it?

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19 Comments

Filed under God, Humor, Life, Religion, Uncategorized

19 responses to “Sinner

  1. I want to gather as many people around me as I can so they can feed me and do everything for me. I’m pretty awesome, and other people who have groups like this around them really piss me off.

    Ah, fuck it.

  2. Thanks for the amusing refresher course on the seven deadlies, although I’m with you that it’s strange that there are only seven. Oh, and I have an issue with Taylor Swift too, but you’ll NEVER guess which sin she brings out in me! 😉 Although as I think about it, there are more than just one of the seven I’m guilty of with regard to Ms. Swift. In fact, the only ones that don’t apply, are sloth and wrath! 🙂

  3. I am being naughty right now 😉 ahaha I over love too, tis not a sin 😀

  4. So, let’s take the definition of human kind and say it’s all sins! *evil grin*
    I think having a blog absolves you directly.

  5. I shudder to think what West Boror’s 7 Deadly sins are…

  6. savorthefolly

    I wanted to add: I once made a suggestion to a religious client and she replied, “uh….yeah but that’s blasphemy.” whoops.

  7. savorthefolly

    I am very certain that according to many religions I belong in all the circles of hell. Thankfully I don’t believe in hell other than all the ones I am currently residing in – and frankly at times being burned at the stake would be a welcomed relief. Honestly I think religious people need to chill out – perhaps most especially because they seem to commit the sin of too much pride in their religious ferver – doesn’t smug moral superiority fall under one of these 7 sins?

  8. wobsy

    Yes, I take your point, but you could conceivably have fun without broaching the other seven, so they might have created a catch-all, just to be sure.

  9. wobsy

    Good post.
    I’m surprised they didn’t write one against having fun as well.
    Rob.

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