When I Was A Kid

When I was a kid, my friend and I loved to play Barbies. She had at least 50 Barbies, the Barbie Corvette, Dreamhouse, and a buttload of Ken Dolls for Barbie to choose from. I, on the other hand, had one Barbie with a perm,(which turned into a rat’s nest after I took her in the bathtub) a Theresa doll, (Barbie’s brunette friend), and a mini Care Bear that I had to use as Barbie’s boyfriend. (Didn’t know Barbie was in to bestiality, did ya?) My friend and I would spend hours upon hours trying to figure out the mechanics of a boy/girl relationship with our Barbies (fortuneately, neither Barbie nor Ken were anatomically correct, so our innocence stayed intact) and dancing our Barbies away on the roof of her Barbie Dream House. How things have changed.

This morning, my Rockstar’s Daughter begged me to play Barbies with her. Sadly, despite my amazing imagination, my attempts at Pretending are not what they used to be. Instead, I rely on the Daughter to provide the story line. Imagine my surprise when my two Barbie sisters were invited to a dance, where they were then beat down and humiliated by the Barbie host. Barbies are so volitile nowdays…


Filed under Children, Humor, Life, Uncategorized

13 responses to “When I Was A Kid

  1. Bad fairy

    My daughter has no need of ken. Her barbies do… Everything together

  2. savorthefolly

    i love it. not anatomically correct but with bestiality. as it should be.

  3. People suck. And if I get some money, I will invent a transparent heads-up display that runs a targeting app, which will enable you to virtually shoot people with a variety of weapons. Ahhhh, the satisfaction.

  4. I still have the Barbie doll I received as a gift when I was 5 years old. I lost all of her shoes long ago. She doesn’t seem to mind as she gazes out on the world from a bookshelf at the ripe old age of 49.

    And H.E. – what an awful thing for someone to say to a child or an adult. I really do not understand how people can be so uncaring.

  5. When I was a kid a grown woman actually told me that I looked like the kind of Barbie doll that factories make for dark-haired children that nobody really wants. Bitch.

  6. Barbie has lost her manners. It’s one of the signs of the apocalypse.

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