A Few of My Favorite Things

In the holiday spirit, I have composed the following post to be sung to the tune of the song My Favorite Things. If you feel like greatly disturbing those holiday shoppers the next time you’re in public, I greatly urge you to start singing this:

Sparkles and dildos and shiny stilettos,

French fries and mustangs and posts about book hos,

Ben-wa balls and whatever else Santa will bring,

These are a few of my favorite things.


Purple and kisses and hugs gotten from strangers,

That last one might put me a little in danger,

Dolly and Audrey and that Marilyn,

These are a few of my favorite things.


Music and Rockstars and Rockstar’s’s boners,

I really don’t like that my Brother’s a stoner, (sorry, I couldn’t think of anything else that rhymed. But it’s true)

Please pull my hair when you’re ready to come,

And I’ll be very pissed if you drink all the rum.


When I’m horny,

When I’m lonely,

When I’m feeling down,

I simply remember the sex from last night,

And then I no longer frown.


Blowjobs and brunettes and hot Chris Meloni,

I know if he met me he’d never let go of me.

Riding my Rockstar til his balls are blue,

These are a few of the things that I’ll do.


Charlie Sheen since he fell off the wagon,

Hot karls, blumpkins, and gross angry dragons,

Dirty sanchezes and glass-bottom boats,

These are a few of the things that I won’t.


When I’m crazy,

When I’m bonkers,

When I’m feeling bad,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I don’t feel so mad.



Filed under Beauty, Books, Christmas, Entertainment, Humor, Love, music, Uncategorized

26 responses to “A Few of My Favorite Things

  1. hannahogden

    Love it 😛

  2. I just sang it out loud on my balcony…awesome!!!

  3. Great! Now this will be stuck in my head allllllllll night long.



  4. Pingback: There Is But Time « A Place for Nerds

  5. Hahaha. Love this. May have to do my own version.

  6. Bugger! It’s stuck in my head now!

  7. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! This is my new favorite!!! I’m going to be singing it when I’m out and about tomorrow! Teehee! Brilliant I say! Brilliant!

  8. When you did the blumpkin, did you feel a little flush afterwards?

  9. LOL! Loved it! But the funniest thing was that as I was reading your words, my mind had perfect recall of Julie Andrews’ voice singing this, only singing it with your words! 🙂

  10. This is the most AMAZING thing ever written, Ben even sang it ahaha!

  11. Gillian Colbert


  12. DiatribesAndOvations.com

    You ain’t right. You’re fabulous and fun … but you ain’t right. 😉

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