Fucked Up

It has come to my attention that a certain reader believes me to be a man. (Despite the fact that I posted a picture of myself) Because the male species is considerably inferior to the female (Sorry, boys. It’s not your fault. We don’t have penises to distract us) this information is quite disturbing to me. I realize the content of my blog is NOT what you would find daily on another woman’s blog, however, that is the thrill, is it not?

In all honesty, I believe there are many women out there who think the same way I do, they are just afraid to say whatever is on their mind, for various reasons. I consider myself to be the one to speak for odd and fucked up women everywhere. “Well-behaved women rarely make history”, or so I’ve heard, so if indeed I am to be mentioned in the textbooks of the future, it seems I must continue to misbehave and speak my mind.

It was brought to my attention the fool-hardiness of posting a picture of myself and mentioning where I work. These days, there are many creepies and stalker-type people about. Having already encountered said creepies BEFORE ever having a blog, I must state that no creepies can disturb me as much as those I’ve already met. And so, if posting a picture of myself causes the Brotherhood of Creepies to stir, I say, “Come and get me, Creepies! But beware. My 5″ heels are deadly when worn on my powerfully-muscled legs!” At least I will have something to write about in my blog if they come.

I have been told thatΒ the woman who would write the shit I write is seriously fucked up; and that the person who writes this blog is not that woman. It seems you each will have to get out your Fucked Up Meter and measure the extent of my fucked-up-edness, or, if you wish me to save you a few minutes, you can just believe me when I say, “I am abso-fucking-lutely without a doubt completely and utterly fucked up.” There’s not a damn thing I can do about it, so I guess I’ll just go with the flow…


Filed under Humor, Life, Uncategorized

36 responses to “Fucked Up

  1. Applaud a woman who comes out and says she likes sex.

    The relationship described above seems mixed up to me. Woman have a straightforward relationship with a man’s penis – any man. “Do I want it, yes/no?” And if she does, she gets it most of the time.

    The confused relationship is the man’s with a vagina. The man is distracted by the vagina. In fact, some men have been known to write entire blogs based on this distraction, going into great detail about their pursuit of the vagina.

  2. HHAHAHA. You have something worse to distract you. You vagina. The difference between men and women is men and their penises have pretty much a straight forward relationship.

    Women and their Vaginas have sort of a confusing relationship where she trys to embrace sex, deny that she likes it, but at the same time want to admit she is embracing her vagina (sexuality), while trying to not seem to slutty and not be taken advantage of just for her vagina, but not wanting to be a prude, but not wanting to be a slut, wanting to be a slut at times but only if it’s the right person, but then “what happens now that we’re sleeping together? Where is this going?”

    ( I think I could do that forever by the way but I would have to create a whole blog devoted to the topic of a woman’s relationship with her vagina.)

    Hey but if that’s what you consider Superior… πŸ˜‰

  3. Happy Christmas you very female Sparkle. Why o why can people never shut up when they should? Isn’t it really clear that you are a woman? Or that you pretend to be one very well πŸ˜‰ ? Nah, people. So tiring.

  4. Okay, I’m feeling something that… it’s all tingly…. wow…. the visions in my head.

  5. H.E. and Sparkle each 5″ heels. I know what I want for Christmas.

  6. You couldn’t be a man. But even if you are, Merry Christmas.

  7. Everyone is fucked up.

    So….Merry Christmas!

  8. YOU’RE A MAN?!?!
    Well what are you waiting for? Get that big dick (‘cuz I know it is) of yours over to NH and do me already!

  9. You’re HE Ellis’s twin brother?

  10. There’s a picture of you in the corner and your “gravatar” is a pair of juicy lips. Not a thing a guy should be doing.

  11. You’re not fucked up, you’re sparkly – it is sooooo much better!

  12. Kana Tyler

    Just one comment to the creepies of the world…
    “Shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick.”

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