My Brain on Any Given Day


I may have mentioned once or twice that I seem to suffer from ADD. (Although I still think this disease is a hoax designed to keep children from eating sugar and to pump them full of prescription drugs) Anyhoo, if you ever wondered what goes through the mind of this ingenious crazypants, here’s a peek…

“I wonder  what  people see in my blog? It’s just me babbling on about silly nothingness. 1,3,5,7,9. I really want to give a blowjob right now… I should stop and get a caramel roll tonight from Mom’s Cinnamon Buns. I wonder if she put butter on her buns before she cinnamoned them? I bet Dad probably liked that. It made it much slippery-er, I bet. Hee Hee!!  Ooh! Michael Jackson’s playing! The way you maka me fe-eel! It really turns me o-on. Ya knock me offa my fe-eet. Hee hoo! I wonder if Michael was circumcised. Now I am sad, because he’s dead. Sad Day. Oh, Jesus. Here comes a Fromalian who won’t doesn’t speak English. I’ma just gonna go in the back here and let Frenchie take their order….Hmmm. I think that when I get home tonight, I will have to slip into bed naked and just kinda stick my hand down my Rockstar’s boxers and see what’s happenin’. I shall rub my boobies against him and suck his face off because he really is the bestest kisser! Yay, me! 3,6,9,12. I should really finish my short story that Gillian Colbert requested of me. Escpecially since I said I’d have it done last Sunday. Oops! Oh! But I forgot I started writing a new book! It’s all written in my head, I don’t know why I just don’t sit down and write it. Ugh, but I cannot think of a good female  name for the main character. What’s a good name that doesn’t sound like it’s from a book…Jenny. No. I hate that name. How ’bout Kelly? No, ‘cuz Rockstar said that’s a bitch name. Of course he would say that since that’s his ex-wife’s name. I still can’t believe she is a kinda model. He was married to a kinda model, and now he’s stuck with me. I wonder if he depressed about that. She was all tall and shit. But he said she had no ass. I gots an ass. I gots a rock-n-roll booty, he says. I think that he was drunk when he said that. I should NOT buy any shoes this week, but oh! I think that I cannot resist! But I MUST resist ‘cuz I gots to save money so we can buy a house and have a purpley bedroom. 2, 4,6,8,10. Curmudgeon. Why did I think of that word? Curmudgeon. what a very fun word, I say! Curmudgeon. I think that I do not know what that means, but I must look it up on the Wikipedia! Wikipedia is so very informative. I learned all about Dimebag Darryl on there. And then that sad song Zakk Wylde wrote for him after that guy shot him in the brains. I think that Zakk Wylde is not as creepy as he wishes people to think he is. He’s really very fun, and hot in a grungy un-showered sort of way. I’d do him, if he was layin’ there naked. Hmm, let’s see if anyone wants to talk to me today. Ooh! Delightful sent me a text! She is so lovely, and I’m so glad that I met her! We shall be great friends. And her boyfriend is so very lucky. She is lucky too, because he is very cute. La la la! I am feeling very musical today! Oh, yuck! Customers. That’s that one lady. She is such a crotch. Haha! Awesome is so funny when she calls people crotches! Squish! I CAN squish my boobies through these carts to get what I need. They are very adaptable.”

Yeah. I know. Not the highly intelligent thoughts you were expecting. I can’t be having thoughts on how to create world peace ALL the time, you know…

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22 Comments

Filed under Beauty, Books, Fashion, Humor, Life, Love, Uncategorized, Work

22 responses to “My Brain on Any Given Day

  1. Seems normal enough to me!

  2. It can be so very weird how you end up thinking about something… Thoughts are just… very free. Very, very free. Yay!

  3. Looooooooooooovveee this! It’s a glimpse into the wonderful fabulous mind of Sparkles. =)

  4. Girl, im not gonna say a word,
    Except, pink,frog,Latin, dance, blue rock, is the bus on time, why is water wet, wheres my car keys, funney, did I turn off the stove?
    Oh and great post.

  5. So, Rockstar is boxers guy and not briefs. Hmmm.

  6. OMG your mind is like my mind! I liked the numbers and “I really want to give a blowjob right now” that made me laugh a lot, if you have a urge 😛

  7. That was actually very cool! I think that if you could read people’s thoughts, that much of the time it’s a stream of conscious very similar to what you wrote here, except maybe not quite as amusing as your mental meanderings are here. 🙂

  8. Wow, that’s more or less what my brain sounds like too! Every last bit of it. Except in a gay snake voice, or a British accent. Or, neither of those two things.

  9. Gillian Colbert

    And here I thought it was just me! No worries, there’s plenty of space in the padded room, sister!

  10. I’m not sure here if what you have is actuall–HANDTRUCKS!!!!!!

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