Daily Archives: January 5, 2012

A Necessary Evil


There is an Evil that is so despicable, so wretched and vile, that my very dreams are disturbed by its presence. The stupendous wonderfulness of sleep evades me at one solitary peep of this foul abomination. This seditious enemy is known as Alarm Clock.

Instead of allowing me to continue on in blissful slumber, Alarm Clock BeepBeepBeeps with the sound of a thousand trumpets, causing me to awaken as though an elephant has trampled my chest. After the frantic hyper-ventilation abates, I am bamboozled into thinking that this diabolic atrocity may be vanquished by simply hitting a button marked SNOOZE. No no. In less than 10 minutes, (just long enough for me to resume my suspension of consciousness) the trumpets of hell resound yet again, forcing me to pound SNOOZE once more. This trouble continues for about an hour.

After a tumultous battle, I realize there is no winning, and cede to Alarm Clock. I drag my ass grumpily out of bed and into the bathroom to, it is hoped, live to fight another day.

Sadly, these incidents with Alarm Clock cannot be prevented. Without it’s disgusting BEEPBEEPBEEP I would perhaps never awaken; or at any rate, never awaken in time to go to work, or to do anything useful.

There is a special place in hell reserved for the individual who decided on the BEEPBEEPBEEP, though.

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