A Necessary Evil


There is an Evil that is so despicable, so wretched and vile, that my very dreams are disturbed by its presence. The stupendous wonderfulness of sleep evades me at one solitary peep of this foul abomination. This seditious enemy is known as Alarm Clock.

Instead of allowing me to continue on in blissful slumber, Alarm Clock BeepBeepBeeps with the sound of a thousand trumpets, causing me to awaken as though an elephant has trampled my chest. After the frantic hyper-ventilation abates, I am bamboozled into thinking that this diabolic atrocity may be vanquished by simply hitting a button marked SNOOZE. No no. In less than 10 minutes, (just long enough for me to resume my suspension of consciousness) the trumpets of hell resound yet again, forcing me to pound SNOOZE once more. This trouble continues for about an hour.

After a tumultous battle, I realize there is no winning, and cede to Alarm Clock. I drag my ass grumpily out of bed and into the bathroom to, it is hoped, live to fight another day.

Sadly, these incidents with Alarm Clock cannot be prevented. Without it’s disgusting BEEPBEEPBEEP I would perhaps never awaken; or at any rate, never awaken in time to go to work, or to do anything useful.

There is a special place in hell reserved for the individual who decided on the BEEPBEEPBEEP, though.

18 Comments

Filed under Humor, Life, Uncategorized

18 responses to “A Necessary Evil

  1. I let the radio waken me, but even after 5 or 6 or more years there are days I wake up and go: ‘what is this? what the hell is this and how can I make it stop? is it this button? no, apparently not. maybe this one? oh, ok. ok.’ *sleeps on*

  2. I don’t know how I do this, but I wake up 15 minutes before my alarm goes off. That’s what happens when “sleeping in” means sleeping until 8am.

  3. Mine sounds like my phone alarm going off, 3 mins after the one I set on the other side of the room then the cats yelling at me to feed it them then back to my phone reminding me to call and see if H.E. wants coffee. Yea I look forward to waking every morning.

  4. This happened to me this morning. I am perplexed at the ten minute duration as it is only long enough for me to fall back asleep for a couple of minutes only to be jarred awake by said evil snarl of BEEPBEEPBEEP.

  5. Mine sounds like HR saying, “How ’bout some coffee?”

  6. Mine didn’t get of this morning so I got “MEGAN STEPHENSON ITS 8:00 WHY ARE YOU NOT UP?” in my ear … Alarm will be set tonight!

  7. Lol – I used to have an alarm clock that looked just like the one in your picture. It was as loud as a fire alarm, because back then I used to be a very sound sleeper and I needed something that loud, or I’d never wake up. But the first night my GF (now my wife) shared my bed with me, when my alarm clock went off, she woke up with a loud exclamation of terror! She very soon bought me a new alarm clock – one that went BeepBeepBeep… Lol

  8. uuugh I feel you. And it doesn’t matter what gentle sound/music/any other noise you set it to- they are all equally annoying…

  9. I hear ya! Once upon a time was given a fancy alarm clock that played CDs. For months I was torn from slumber by the Kelly Clarkson’s “Breakawa”. The snooze button only made her start over every nine minutes. I’ve found it best to put the clock on the other side of the room so I’m forced to actually get up the first time it goes off. A special place in hell, indeed! Great post!

  10. Brrrrrrrrrringggggggggggggggggg!

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