One Sparklebumps For Sale

For Sale

One mentally-maladjusted individual; slightly used. No dents.

All natural triple DDD’s included.

Measures out at 5’3″ and a 1/4.

Goes by the pseudonym “Sparklebumps”. Also responds to “Crazy Bitch”.

Runs like a dream when re-fueled with copious amounts of sugar or french fries.

Fits in a size 9 shoe- ass looks best when in a 5″+ stilletto.

Requires attention, regular orgasms, flattery, and books to operate properly.

Has supplied many hours of marathon sex, laughter, and stress-inducing behavior.

Can provide music, magnificent bedroom play, hugs, and trivia answers.

Horniness and entertaining buffoonery greatly heightened when provided with alcohol.

Hysteria may result if not suitably boned daily.

$6,000,000 or best offer.

Will consider newer model Mustangs and European castles on trade.

Contact Sparklebumps c/0 Rockstar at 867-5309 or via comments.

Series queries only please. Will not respond to bill collectors and/or IRS personel.


Filed under Humor, Life, Love, Money, music, Uncategorized

17 responses to “One Sparklebumps For Sale

  1. I can’t believe you are selling yourself. Now, I mean. What took you so long?
    Anyone who is interested, I have her real number. It’s 985-655-2500. And she’s worth $6,000,007 at least!

  2. I think, If I won the lottery of course, we would be perfect 😉 I could buy us Lowther Castle and Mustangs!! but I gotta buy a ticket first … I will tell you if I win 🙂

  3. Ok was that the Car AND castle,
    Cause I’m kinda hoping it was an OR.

  4. Kana Tyler

    Shades of Shel Silverstein… 😉

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