Point and Aim, Men

Men, boys, she-males-

I have a bone to pick with you.

And yes, it’s the bone in your pants that I’m talking about. (Even thought I’ve been told it’s not actually a bone.)

But it’s not in the context you’d expect from me.

I am pissed. (In every sense of the word.)

I would like to know- exactly what the fuck is so hard about pointing your dick in the general 12-14″ that is allotted from a urinal and actually pissing IN the thing, as opposed to IN FRONT of it?!

Is it that you are standing too far away, and your urinal stream lacks the power to get to it’s destination?

Is it that you are so distracted by having you penis in your hands that you just “forget” so pee where you are supposed to?

I really want to know.

I am not blaming the ENTIRE male species for this transgression; no. But I have asked many guys that I’ve worked with if they are the individuals pissing on the floor in the bathroom, and no ones copping to it. So until I get an honest answer, you are ALL under suspicion.

I know it IS quite possible for men to NOT know where to aim their thingys, (I believe I’ve said once or twice, “You missed the hole.”) But sex is a completely different matter. Peeing is something you’ve been doing since birth, so there is no reason that after all this time, you don’t know what you’re doing.

So the only other excuse I come up with is- you just don’t give a shit.

And in that case, I say, “FUCK YOU.”

It is not the complete joy of my life to mop up a pile of misguided piss every night at work simply because you lack the manners to aim.

If I have to stand there with my whip and MAKE you aim correctly, I will.

But I somehow don’t think you want that.

If you do not take into consideration that a girl as nice as me has to clean up your bodily waste matter, the next male I see come out of the bathroom, I WILL MAKE YOU LICK IT UP!!!!! I bet you won’t let that happen again.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Except, please make sure you wash your hands after you pee in the designated area. Thank you.


Filed under Humor, Life, Uncategorized, Work

21 responses to “Point and Aim, Men

  1. So much to look forward to…..

  2. Yeah, uh, lift up the seats in a women’s restroom and then come talk to me. Pee on the floor is nothing compared to dried crusty chunky blood on the bottom of a toilet seat.

    Housekeeper in a Colorado ski resort for two years. I cleaned thousands of bathrooms.

  3. I appreciate the problem, and it is real but, I’ve cleaned many a women’s washroom, and, generally, they make the guys look like neatniks. Blood is no more fun than urine.

  4. At least they don’t urinate on your car, like a customer did when I worked at gas station. But I know your pain.

  5. Try cleaning one at a truck stop/steak house with liquor. Some nights it would be flowing out the door. It was so bad we all took turns so no one had to do it more than once a week. My man with his weakened prostate isn’t too proud to sit and pee! I love him so much!

  6. adultsatires

    I actually prefer to sit on the toilet to take a piss 😉

    What pissis me off? At work, there’s guys that must walk around all day with an ass crack full of shit! Why do I say this? Cuz the leave a shit stain on the toilet seat! GAWD I hate that….

    I think guys just don’t give a shit.

    However, I have worked in shops mixed with women and I’ve heard stories of how their restroom looked! lol

  7. this is why I clean my own bathrooms. It forces compliance.

  8. I think aiming is directly related to the amount of alcohol you take in. However, if sober THERE IS NO EXCUSE. Furthermore at home, PUT THE FUCKING SEAT DOWN. I mean if i fall in one more time im gonna hurt someone. So Ms. Bumps I hope your day gets better

  9. Our dicks have minds of their own. We cannot control them. They control us.

  10. It’s because they have women to clean up after them …

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