Daily Archives: January 23, 2012

I Loooove You

La lala! I am drunk, my bloggy Lovelys! But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you any less than I did when I was sober!  I appreciate every single one of you for taking the time to read my ridiculous musings! Did you notice I use many more exclamation points when I’m drunk? Do you guys remember that perfume with the black and white bottle with an exclamation point? I don’t remember what it was called….. Help a drunk girl out here… Wow, I think I actually spelt everything right. I’m sorry, I haven’t the energy to find a picture to go with my post. I must attempt to ravage my Rockstar now, but my hip has been giving me trouble today. Fuck this being 30 shit… XOXO


Filed under Entertainment, Humor, Life, Uncategorized

Cum and Play

HR, you asked for it.

It has come to my attention that I have never exactly written about exactly how… sexually explicit I can be.

I find it highly entertaining to write dirty. (Because I do not at all find it entertaining to talk dirty.)

So, I have decided to give you all an idea of just exactly what I would do to get a man “in the mood.”

(Generally, taking off my shirt is all it takes, but that would be a pretty short post now, wouldn’t it?)

I would lift the man’s shirt off and run my fingers very lightly up his sides while running my tongue and then my teeth over his nipples.

I would then unbutton his pants, (elastic wasted shorts are actually best for this) and slide them down.

I’d slip his dick into my mouth and suck a little bit, moving it around with my tongue. Then run my tongue up and around the head, flicking my tongue as I do so. (I’ve been told this tickles- in a good way.)

While I’m sucking and licking and such, I’d run my other hand down to cup his balls, and lightly squeeze them before going down further and slipping them into my mouth.

By this time, I’d probably be pretty wet, so I’d start humping his leg -if he was sitting or lying down. (How very dog-like of me)

Now would be about the time I’d slip my shirt off to free up the boobies for some good titty fucking. Having triple DDD’s is very handy for this.

(Let us just assume that this lucky man hasn’t blown his load yet.) Then I’d slide up and situate myself on his lap…

I guess that’s enough for now. 😉 XOXO


Filed under Humor, Life, Sex, Uncategorized

Timothy Olyphant- The Man of Confusion

As I haven’t been able to post since Friday, I have several posts in my head to write today, but I suppose I should do something useful today too, so one at a time. My first shall be about the man who has beget mass confusion on my brain. No I’m not speaking of my rockstar, but he does that at times too. No no. The man is Timothy Olyphant.

Who, you say?

This man:

While you may not recognize his name (who in a drunken state my Rockstar calls the Elephant Guy) you may recognize his face.

I first became familiar with this actor when I watched to movie Catch and Release and was completely appalled when Jennifer Garner fell for this asshole man with the disgusting face. (My mother agrees with me that he was quite horrendous in this movie)

I knew not his name at the time, but his less-than-beautiful face was ingrained into my brain.

Then came along Deadwood.

When I first started visiting my Rockstar on occassion (see also: fucking his brains out regularly) I found that in his movie collection, he had all three seasons of the HBO show Deadwood. He insisted we watch them since I had never done so. While the dialogue is screen-writing after my own heart, (“Fuck”, “cocksucker” and “pussy” being the three main words uttered throughout every episode) I was disturbed to have to face Mr. Olyphant’s face once more. Worse still, not  being of flamboyant or disgusting personality, he was instead almost robotic- and he never blinked. Even odder, his character ended up lusting after a married woman, but it was only after several episodes of me screaming at the T.V.- “Fuck that nasty bitch already! I wanna see some boobies!” that he finally had his way with her; afterwards, I was even more appalled to see that his demeanor hadn’t changed in the least. He was still unblinking and cold as the Terminator. (I informed my Rockstar that this was because it must not have been a good lay.)

Soon after, my Rockstar found the movie The Crazies on Netflix and was excited to see that The Elephant Guy made an appearance. (My Rockstar seems to like Timothy for some odd reason. I suppose when I think about it, it’s probably because neither one of them seems capable of declaring love for a woman in so many words) I was surprised to see that Mr. Olyphant had, at least a tiny bit, acquired human-like qualities since Deadwood. I assumed it was because running from Zombies is quite emotional.

Then came Justified.

Another show we found on Netflix, my Rockstar insisted we watch it because the main character is “That Elephant Guy.” This is where the confusion sets in.

In this series, I find him to be utterly irresistable.

Despite the Southern accent (which I cannot stand) and the fact that he has never appealed to me even minutely because of his many characters lacking a soul (or a personality) after watching Justified, I would most certainly ravage Timothy Olyphant if he was lying naked on my bed.

Go figure.

(For the record, I still find his face appalling.)



Filed under Entertainment, Humor, Life, Uncategorized