Not Wanted: Sparklebumps


Who wouldn’t want a Sparklebumps dressed in heels and an apron cooking a deliciously nutritious dinner in their kitchen when they arrive home from work?

I’ll tell you at least one person.

My Rockstar.

This is the exact situation in which I found myself last night.

Instead of the hot kitchen sex or reaction of, “Damn, your ass looks good!”,Β  what do you think I got?

Absolutely fucking nothing.

For your information, I would have been happy with a smile and a peck on the cheek.

My Rockstar came home and proceeded to crack a beer and completely ignore my presence. COMPLETELY.

In the meantime, I thought, “OK, perhaps his eyesight has diminished at work this day, and cannot see that I am here. Mostly naked.”

I watched him sink down in his Lazy Boy and continue to zone out, until I realized that he probably would have been happier if I wasn’t even there.

Here is something that you may not know, if you’ve been living tied up in a cave under the ocean.

I love my Rockstar.Β  I think about him all the time.

Yes, I love the sex too, but I would be perfectly content just having him sit next to me drinking his beer. Something to show that he acknowledges my presences at least.

Instead, he ended up going on the computer and shutting the bedroom door, which he has never done before.

So I decided to get plastered on brandy. After my third drink I went in and poked him and asked him why he didn’t want me anymore.

His response? “You’ve had too much to drink.”

Perhaps I had, but drunk people have feelings too.

I ended up going to bed and bawling my eyes out because I have no idea what the fuck is going on.

When he came to bed, I shoved him and told him he needed to not ignore me.

He said, “I don’t need to deal with this shit tonight.”

I told him if he kept it up then he wouldn’t have to deal with it EVER.

He then proceeded to tell me it was stupid of me to dress up in said apron and heels, and I didn’t need to do that.

I pointed out that I didn’t need to cook supper for him, or tuck his daughter in, or love him either, but that I do those things because I am me.

I also pointed out the fact that he wasn’t exactly thrilled to see me.

He stated that he didn’t feel the need to be thrilled.

Well, I fucking need him to be thrilled about me, dammit! Maybe not always, but a good chunk of the time.

To make a long story short, nothing got resolved, and now I work opposite hours than he does for the rest of the week, so I my mind shall be in limbo in regards to my relationship for the next 6 days.

Fuck my life. And I NEVER say that.

27 Comments

Filed under Humor, Life, Love, Sex, Uncategorized

27 responses to “Not Wanted: Sparklebumps

  1. Pingback: To Make A Meat Pie | sparklebumpsthebookwhore

  2. ipegasus

    It almost seems like he thinks you’re needy and overreacting. At least on that night.

    Not that you are, because those things you’ve described are what I think to be the bare necessities in a relationship – a few signs of appreciation, or at least, acknowledgment that your presence is valued in his life.

    Hope things get better in time for Valentines.

  3. He probably already had a shitty day. Bills on his mind and all he seen was a huge Victoria Secrets bill. Even if you’re not married money does get involved. I have learned that when your having a great fantasy, he can come in and it turns into a nightmare. Most men don’t like surprises and your pretties should come out when you know he’ll appreciate it.

  4. I think that sounds extremely sexy being in an apron and heels cooking dinner and he is crazy not to recognize that! Plus, you are wonderful to both him and his daughter and it’s not right he made you feel under appreciated.

  5. Unless my wife had pissed me off majorly and this was an obvious ploy, and maybe not even then, I’d be all over her in that scenario. So, I can’t imagine the mindwarping inner workings of the logical space-time continuum thought processes that would have had to stop functioning for him to just walk by you like you weren’t there. I only have the words to read, and I’m hella intrigued.

  6. My ex-husband was just like that. It’s miserable to be on the other end of that. Hate to see anyone else have to deal with that bullshit.. Especially someone so full of humor and love.

    I hope you guys can work it out… Nothing I did made things any different or any better & my ex wouldn’t participate trying to improve things… Wishing you FAR FAR better luck than I had. Sending good vibes ur way.

  7. Hmph. I think I’d drool if I came home to you in an apron and heels and nothing else cooking me a lovely delicious dinner. I think he needs his head examined because you are the most wonderful and amazing human being I have ever met.

  8. Is Rockstar not allowed to have a bad day?
    (Drunk people have feelings, too. ROFL)

  9. I think the apron scenario is quite sexy. I can’t in my imagination see it resulting in anything less than kitchen counter sex! WTF? Sorry mama, that’s lame.

  10. hrnightmare

    I refuse to hit like, cause of the situation. I will hit like for the cooking.

  11. I’d take you in my kitchen in heels and an apron any day- and I don’t even like chicks! πŸ˜‰ I think it’s really sweet/thoughtful you did that- sorry he’s being such a dolt

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s