Tag, I’m It

Here is the sequal to my post from earlier today. Breezy K over in Canada tagged me, and here are her questions that I have answered, since you all still don’t know enough about me:

1. Are you left or right-handed? Do you play into either stereotype?

I am right-handed when writing, however, while masturbating or giving hand jobs, I use my left hand for some reason.

As far as stereo-types go, the only one I know of is that supposedly left-handed people are smarter. Since I am smarter than most people, (and definitely smarter that any leftys I’ve known) clearly I do not play into that stereotype.

2. Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert?

I am an introvert posing as an extrovert. What that means is that extrovertism is my defense mechanism  (ha, that rhymed) and if you asked anyone that knows me, they would never say that I am shy, because only I know the truth.

3. Who would win in a fight between a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco?

Grilled cheese, hands down. The best way to judge the strength of foods is to see what it does to your poops. And since consuming multiple grilled cheeses would cease a normal person’s ability to poop, I would say that is a pretty good deciding factor, wouldn’t you? (By the way, I poops at parties sos nobody knows it.)

4. Who is your favourite Kardashian sister and why? (AND DON”T SAY NO ONE)

I shall have to say Khloe, because she is the only one I know the name of besides Kim, and I detest Kim. (I’m sorry, Breezy!)

5. Do you write anything else outside of your blog?

I wrote a short story that’s being published, thanks to Gillian Colbert, and I’ve written lots of other stuff. Sadly, all the other stuff is imprisoned in my head.

6. Are you a vegetarian? have you tried meat substitutes?

I have considered becoming a vegetarian because most of the time the thought of eating something that previously had a face gets to me if I think about it too much. That and the fact that the only real meat I like anyway is turkey and chicken. Oh, and Man Meat. But I try not to use my teeth on that….

7. Who is your biggest role model/inspiration in life?

This is a toughy for me, because I strive to not be like anyone else… but Dolly Parton, Audrey Hepburn, and Mother Theresa come to mind.

8. What is your favourite junk food?

I cannot answer this question, as most of the food that I consume is considered junk by most people. I, on the other hand, just consider it sustanence.

9. Who is your favourite band/singer? and have you seen them in concert?

My favorite singer is Martina McBride, because she sings like an angel; and yes, I’ve seen her in concert 3 times, and cried every single time.

My favorite band is Black Stone Cherry, because they have yet to write a song I don’t like. I actually just found out that they’re coming to town soon, but sadly, their tickets are exhorbitantly priced…. I shall take any donations offered if anyone should like me to witness their fantastical musical abilities.

10. Do you have any brothers or sisters?

I have two sisters that I haven’t seen in over a decade, and a brother who is my best friend. I believe if all four of us were to converge in one place, the fucked-up-edness of all of us combined would make the world implode.

11. What is your favourite (non-sexual) thing about the opposite sex?

Non-sexual…. non-sexual…. hmmm….I suppose I love the fact that guys can hang out and meet new guys without being completely obvious about the fact that they think they’re better than the other guy. Women, on the other hand, get all bitchy and cuntish if they are threatened by another woman. (Except for me, because I love everybody and don’t feel threatened because I am so obviously superior to all. 😉  )

It’s All About Me

As if you all didn’t already know that… Anyhoo, it seems people cannot get enough of reading useless facts about me, or they would be tagging me and Versatiling (I just made that a word) me. I would like all my fans to know that I haven’t been ignoring their nominations and tags- I’ve just busy lately. There are so many rules regarding the tagging and Versatile Blogger Award, and since rules are meant to be broken, I am the perfect person to be breaking them. (And I am much too lazy to actually complete all the rules. So what I intend to do is go through and pick and choose which rules I shall follow. Thanks to those who tagged me and nominated me, because without you I will still be talking about myself, it would just look much more self-absorbed.

Firstly, Megan over at VeryNormal tagged me with these questions:

1. The best moment of your life?

I am quite certain this hasn’t happened yet, because I haven’t had the opportunity to be alone with Chris Meloni,  so until it does, I shall combine all the almost-best moments of my life- every time I purchase a new used book, every time I have an orgasm while sitting on my Rockstar’s boner, every time I get a hug from my special friend Delightful… you get the picture.

2. The worst moment of your life?

I am absolutely sure this has not happened yet, but the moment that comes to mind is- a couple years ago, a month or so after leaving my husband, I was sitting in my completely empty rented apartment and my Rockstar had said he needed a night to himself. I was feeling incredibly lonely, and when I’m alone I think too much. And though I knew I did the right thing by leaving my husband, I was missing him. So I sat in my empty apartment and cried for the things that weren’t, and the things that were, and the things that had been and could have been. Poor me. What is ironic is the whole situation was of my own doing.

3. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?

I would have told my ex-manager that was a moron that he was, in fact, a moron to his face as I was getting fired instead of just writing it in my blog.

4. If you could go back and tell someone how you really felt when you didn’t, who would it be?

I suppose the above could have been put here, but I’ll think of another.

I would have told the boy I fell in love with at first sight and stayed in love with all through high school that I loved him. We would have been married now, or so I like to imagine.

5. If there was someone who you could tell how you really felt now who would it be?

This is kind of the same question, and so I would like to say that because of the above answer, I now tell people exactly what I feel whenever I’m feeling it.

6. Your greatest achievement?

Getting you people to read my blog. I still don’t know how I did it.

7. Someone you wanted to be proud of you who weren’t?

I suppose at one time I wanted my dad to be proud of me, but he wasn’t and isn’t, because according to him I’m the Devil, and according to me, he’s an asshole.

8. List the best people in your life right now.

My beloved friend, Delightful, because she is always there for me, and she is always excited to see me, and she is amazing.

My beloved Rockstar, because he loves me. (I know this because even though I have taken over his apartment with bookshelves, he let me know that bookshelves are on sale at Fleet Farm this week.)

My beloved Auntie, who never runs out of things to say, even when I do.

My beloved blog readers, because without them, I would just be writing for myself.

9. Your joy in life is…

Making people smile. And french fries. And shoes. And hugs. And books.  (Was I only supposed to pick one?)

10. What you wish you could do but cannot?

Break out in a foreign accent at any given time. This would be completely useless, but highly entertaining. When I try it, I just end up sounding like a pirate. Aaargh!

11. If I gave you an airline ticket for anywhere in the world were would you go?

If you gave me a ticket, Megan, I would feel compelled to come visit you. If you were busy, I’d hop a plane on over to Ireland, because I need to start looking for a castle to live in.

I guess this is going to have to be a three-part series. Hooray for you that you get to know so much about me!