Versatility Is My Middle Name


Here is the final post of my All About Me series. (Ok, let’s face it- there will never be a final post about me- but anyhoo…) Thanks to Archon hiding in his Den, you shall now know 7 things about me that you didn’t know before. And Archon, you may have a booby squeeze whenever you come an’ get it, but I regret to inform you that it will be slightly less enthusiastic than Chris Meloni’s, since you are, in fact, NOT Chris Meloni. (Believe me, I am as upset about that as you are.)

On to trivia about me… (I should really design a board game about me… can you imagine how sparkly and pink it would be?!)

1. I remember well the very first porn I witnessed. While I do not recall the exact point of it, I seem to remember something about strippers and ping pong balls shooting out of cooches. I also recall my friend laughing at me when I ended up running to the bathroom and throwing up after watching such things. I think the visual sequences were a bit much for my 7 year old brain.

2. I became a born-again Christian when I was 4. It was after Sunday School at the place where I had daycare, and the good old fire-and-brimstone preaching of the Baptists had my 4 year old self terrified of swimming in a lake of fire for all eternity. I still believe Christ died for me, but I also embrace all other religions, because, after all, who am I to decide which one is right?

3. I have wondered on occassion what it would be like to kill someone. No, I do not intend to find out for myself, but I mention this only because I know I’m not the only one. I’m just the only one willing to admit it.

4. I have never taken drugs, nor do I plan on it, but I have decided that if I ever did, heroin would be my first choice. I do not know why, except that if I’m going to indulge, I might as well start with the really bad stuff.

5. My knees can never be considered beautiful, because they sport numerous scars from living the life of an accident-prone child. The worst one came from running down a grass hill as full speed and totally biffing it as soon as I hit the concrete. There is a reason why I look best on my knees…

6. When looking for love, I do not gender-discriminate. In my life I have been in love with exactly 2 women and 3 men. It just happens that the women I fall in love with don’t swing that way.

7. I am not, at any time, ok with people taking french fries and other assorted foody goodness off my plate “just to try it” when I am at a restaurant. If you want some french fries, fucking order some. My french fries are MY french fries. And my ranch dressing is NOT for you!

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8 Comments

Filed under Beauty, God, Humor, Life, Love, Sex, Uncategorized

8 responses to “Versatility Is My Middle Name

  1. I am proud to say that the only ones I did not know of were #1, #3, and #5. I do have to say that I too have thought what it would feel like to kill someone…strange thoughts happens after watching hours of TrueTV…

  2. Yay! Nobody believes me when I say that I’ve never done drugs! They make you look old. That’s why girls like us get all the lovin’.

  3. Advil is a drug. Just sayin…

  4. Sharing is caring. Thanks for the JRI (Just Right Information).

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