I began my morning a little flustered, as I was scheduled to take a Minnesota Food Safety Test, and I couldn’t decide whether a satin mid-thigh skirt was appropriate for the occassion or not. I settled instead on a ruffled lacy skirt and my new ruffly boots. (Yes, I realize that my outfit has naught to do with the results of my test, but it’s always beneficial to feel good about your clothing choices.) I chose rightly, since when I arrived at my destination, the test administer lady commented on my “adorable” outfit. The day is also beautifully springy, so it has only made the hours even more enjoyable.
After aceing my test (it is hoped), I ventured to the mall intent on spending my hard earned moneys, (even though I seem to remember posting something about NOT doing that exact thing last week). Instead of buying beautiful purply shoes to replace my well-worn ones, I purchased a bag of shrimp to make shrimp scampi for my Beloved tonight (because the fried shrimp he made last night was NOT tastefully delicious) and then I strode into Game Stop, thinking that my day would be complete if I learned from The Michael Jackson Experience the correct way to properly grab my crotch and thrust my hips. Instead, my eyes rested upon Resident Evil 5, and since Resident Evil is my all time favorite video game for any gaming console, I instantly bought it.
No longer intent on spending money, as I had a new distraction to waste my time on, I left the mall after walking by my former bookstore and snarling through the window at my former manager. Conveniently placed across the street is a giant liquor warehouse. “What a grand idea, ” I thought. And so I marched on over in my ruffled boots, only to be surprised at the multitude of old ladies crowded around the wine booth for the epic wine sale that was going on.
I rolled my eyes while thinking, “Wine is for pussies,” and proceeded to the whiskey aisle. There, I found myself among my boys- Jim, Jack, and Evan Williams. Evan decided to come home with me, as did Captain Morgan and his peachy Parrot. And no liquor store visit would be complete without purchasing a lighter with a gorgeous picture of Marylin Monroe. (No, I do not smoke, but I DO like to play with fire on occassion.)
So, I am fully armed for Drunk Monday. As I do not work at all, now seems an appropriate time to start drinking. I have informed my Rockstar that by the time he gets home from work, the rum will be drank and the zombies annihalated. XOXO