In honor of HR Nightmare’s aging, I shall bestow upon him gifts worthy of his Vampire self. I realize I’m very late in the bestowage.
Firstly, Jack Daniels (and a girl’s crotch). To get the party started.
A mirror, because when you look into it you won’t be able to tell how old you are, because you are a partial vampire. So then you can laugh.
Cleavage, because what straight man doesn’t want to see that. (I’m sorry, it’s not mine.)
Beautiful stillettos, because H.E. says you look good in them, and hey, if you wanna dress like a chic, it’s your birthday. (I picked green because that’s kinda manly, right?)