Daily Archives: April 19, 2012

13 Questions

When I meet new people, I like to ask them13 questions to get to know them better. This also allows them to get to know ME better because of the odd and fascinating questions I ask. 13, you ask? I’ve told you before about the my detestation for even numbers. That’s the only reason. Toady, I have decided to ask myself 13 questions, since obviously you people are never going to ask me. Most of these are the questions I ask other people, but there are just one or two I am unable to answer because then I’d have to kill you, so I’ve replaced those ones with equally entertaining questions. Here we go:

1. What was your first car?

My first car was a retired police-issued Chevy Caprice. I purchased it at a silent auction that I had to send my parents to enter my bid on because I was not yet 18. I got pulled over in that car not less than 18 times for speeding, but only received one ticket. (I guess I was even kinda cute back then.

2. What kind of underwear do you wear?

This is a complicated question to answer. I prefer going commando, but when absolutely necessary, I wear thongs simply because I hate panty lines. My ass looks best in boyshorts though.

3. What’s your favorite country?

This is highly unpatriotic of me, but I think Ireland is amazing. Mostly because they have leprachauns and castles and shit.

4. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I do, because it happened to me in 4th grade and remained all through high school. As far as I know, it was one-sided on my part, but never mind about that.

5. What’s your favorite animal?

Unicorns are my favorite animal. And I don’t want to here that they don’t exist, because the Bible mentions them, so they must. And YOU just never saw one because you aren’t a virgin. I hear virgins are the only ones who can catch them, so I guess I won’t be getting one as a pet anytime soon either. Dammit.

6. Do you snore?

Not that I’ve heard. I do, however, make noises and twitch which probably irritates my Rockstar since I cling to him every night. I think I make it up to him when I have conversations about tweety bird and other random subjects while I’m asleep though.

7. When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Another toughy. I first remember wanting to be an artist. When I realized I couldn’t really draw, I wanted to live on a horse ranch, and I wanted to be a writer. I also wanted to be a fireman, a soldier, an actress, a singer, and just a few million other things.

8. What was the craziest place you’ve ever had sex?

In a parking ramp before a concert in my yellow short-box step-side stick-shift Ranger Splash. Yes, it was quite squishy.

9. What’s your favorite  alcoholic drink?

I get odd looks from bartenders when I order my Peach Schnapps and water. I don’t drink it much anymore because when I pick up booze, I buy stuff both my Rockstar and I will drink. I DO like Southern Comfort alot too.

10. What is your favorite curse word?

I really like the word “fuck”, because it’s just so versatile, but everyone says that, and I must maintain my individuality, so I must say “cocksucker” is my favorite curse word, though I’m  not certain if it actually IS a curse word. It makes me giggle when I say  (or scream) it though.

11. Can you get off on oral sex?

I would like to state that oral sex is lovely. However, if I have a choice between having someone’s head buried in my crotch or having a boner stuck in my cooch, I will always opt for the latter. I actually get hotter GIVING oral sex than receiving that. No, that wasn’t an offer…

12. Have you ever taken or tried any drugs?

I used to eat whole bottles of children’s Tylenol when I was young when my parents weren’t looking. (Have you ever tried that shit? It tastes exactly like Sweettarts!) Other than that, I have refrained from trying any recreational substances for the sole reason that I have no doubt I would like anything I tried way too much. As far as pot goes- I won’t try it because I don’t really need something to give me the munchies when my gut is a bottomless pit anyway.

13. Have you ever been arrested?

It wasn’t my fault. And yes, I asked the arresting offecer why cops are such assholes.

Well, that’s all I can think of right now. Feel free to ask a couple of your own questions if you wish! XOXO


Filed under Humor, Life, Love, Sex, Uncategorized