Why I Really Just Don’t Care What You Think


I know, the title of my post sounds very rude. I certainly didn’t mean it to, but I have a serious case of the Fuck-its today, so too bad.

I’ve heard that a woman with confidence is something to behold. Men flock to them, and women want to be just like them. This second fact is the reason I would not necessarily consider myself a Confident Woman, because I am convinced only a completely insane person would wish to be just like me; however, I HAVE come up with a few reasons why I don’t completely suck, and why I really don’t give a fuck what people think. (But I still love you and think you’re all awesome! XOXO)

1. I know the definitions and correct spellings of such words as concubine, scintillate, and a plethora of other words many normal people don’t know, including plethora. I also know how to correctly pronounce oneiromancy.

2. I will dye my hair blonde, or red, or black, or orange, or pink, and just shrug when someone says it looks bad, because it keeps me from being bored with my otherwise normal-looking self. I also don’t mind resembling the Little Mermaid or Jessica Rabbit.

3. I can tell you who wrote Polonaise in A Major, when he wrote it, how he died, and if you wish, I can play it on the piano for you. Or I could play the theme song from Alice in Wonderland by Shinedown.

4. I can eat more than a family of four; therefore I do not waste food. Ever. Those starving people in Africa that your mother told you about? There’s nothing left for them when I get done.

5. I can work a 12, or 15, or 17 hour day and still give a shit what my place of business looks like when I leave it. But I am also not afraid to sit on my ass and do absolutely nothing and admit it when I have a day off.

6. I am the most stubborn person on the planet. Some of you may like to point out that this isn’t a good quality, but if we have a second Holocaust, or I am caught and tortured to give up the location of our nuclear weapons that could destroy the population, rest assured that the hidden Jews will be safe andhumanity  will live.

7. I can aim and shoot a gun, which doesn’t really do me any good unless a Zombie Apocolypse occurs.

8. If you are my friend, you will remain my friend, even if you are a complete Assface who treats me as a fair-weather friend and only call when you need something. However, chances are I may not answer your call the next time you need me to save you from a burning building.

9. I am not too hard on the eyes. I’m not saying I’m as pretty as Marilyn or Audrey, but I’m cuter than at least some women you know. And even if I think you’re more beautiful, I say to myself, “I’m cuter.” Even if it’s not true at all.

10. I can admit that I’m a complete dork, because I am also smarter than all those people who call me one. Including my Rockstar. (Don’t worry, he loves me because of my dorkdom.)

11. The final reason I just really don’t care what anyone think is because I can whoop their ass if they cock off. They just need to give me a reason. XOXO

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11 Comments

Filed under Beauty, Books, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Uncategorized

11 responses to “Why I Really Just Don’t Care What You Think

  1. ackeyandz

    I love number 5. I wish I felt the same way about my house!

  2. I would put on a cheerleader outfit and coat myself with glitter and makeup and do silly cheers for 3 hours just to make you laugh for 5 minutes. If only I didn’t have to wash my hair that night.

  3. I love you, and I hope you still love me too after I added a widget to my blog that when I inputted your blog info to show up in the sidebar accidentally caused my blog to stop following you and I did not notice until now because I have been writing almost nonstop and when I came back to check I wondered where you had gone. Please don’t kick my ass. I am certain you can because I suck.

  4. I’m not a writer, nor am I a heavy reader but I still think your awesome. And slap any dumb-shit who disagrees. And I do mean ANY 🙂
    Keep smiling.

  5. Damien Darby

    12. You’re a fabulous writer, with a very creative and expressive written personality. I wish I could help you with your Mustang fund.

    Cheers,

    Damien

    • Thank you! I would have had one more point to my list, but I hate even numbers. Just tell everyone you know about my writing so I become as famous as I should be. 🙂 XOXOX

      • Damien Darby

        Hey, I got 16 ebook titles myself, and the digital universe barely knows I exist lol. It’s rough out there, but in the end, I mean, it’s the journey right?

        Look on the bright side; I found you, and I think you’re a wonderful writer. From a larger perspective, that’s impressive.

        Damien

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