How Lady GaGa Ended Up in My Mouth


Lady GaGa is amazing.

Anyone who will wear a meat dress to an awards show and can still show their face in public after is a hero in my book.

I am well aware of Gaga’s more-than-creepy decisions such as wearing prosthetic pointy shoulders and trying to entice Britney Spears into kissing her on live T.V., and while I do not support doing things people have already done (like Britney Spears), I fully admire someone who refers to her fans as Little Monsters, and continues to wear intricately-constructed costumes despite being labeled more of a freak after every one.

My Rockstar and I have an ongoing disagreement about the musical stylings of Miss GaGa. He endearingly refers to her as Lady GagGag; even though he cannot deny the entertainment quality of the lyrics, “I want to take a ride on your disco stick.” As I have pointed out to him, Madonna only increased her fan base after wearing a conical boob holder and not singing to the height of her ability, so in reality, GaGa is the young generation’s Madonna.

You may be wondering where this post of GaGa originated. I shall tell you.

The other day, my coworker and I scrambled across the busy street next to work to procure a going away card for a fellow manager. As we entered the sliding doors of Walgreens (which are not motion-sensitive to my 175 lb. body for some irritating reason), I slipped into sensory overload upon observing the many aisles of makeup and useless crap that can fill a drug store. We made our way to the card aisle and were excited and appalled to realize they had an entire endcap filled with Justin Beiber cards. Of course one of these hideous creations was our choice for a farewell greeting for our beloved friend. After choosing the intended product of our journey, we prowled down the candy aisle and then came upon the As Seen on T.V. section.

As you all know, As Seen on T.V. merchandise is amazing because it has received enoug advertisement to fool you into believing that whatever it is is the greatest invention on earth. In this specific case, that fact certainly is true.

There, amongst the belly-flattening wraps and those hooks you poke into the wall that hold 60+ lbs, I found a singing toothbrush. While a toothbrush that sings is, in itself, a wonderful invention, the fact that this one played Lady GaGa only increased its value. To $9.99. As my coworker shook her head at my seemingly waste of money purchase, I assured her of the many hours of happiness that would occur because I would have “Born This Way” and “Bad Romance” playing from my mouth while I deplaqued my teeth. She then understood my enthusiasm. My toothbrush even came complete with a shiny gold handle, so that I feel like a pop star.

I must point out that my Rockstar is not at all happy to aurally observe my mouth cleansings, but that matters not- I just smile and say, “Baby, I was born this way.” 🙂

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1 Comment

Filed under Entertainment, Humor, Life, Love, music, Uncategorized

One response to “How Lady GaGa Ended Up in My Mouth

  1. I’d rather have the toothbrush in my mouth than the actual Gag-me. You’ll catch a lot of germinottas if you’re not careful.

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