The Pianist = The Pauper

Let me tell you a little story about one of my used-to-be-heroes.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Lorie Line who grew up in Reno. She had the unequaled talent of playing piano by ear, and dreamed of one day being a concert pianist. She also had a penchant for fashion. Anyhoo, she grew up, and went to college for music, where they told her she would never be good enough to play for the Reno City Orchestra. She was so distraught, she moved to Minnesota.

Lorie married a man and began a gig playing piano at her local Dayton’s store (which had now been sold to Macy’s). She spent her days serenading rich and snobby shoppers until one day, a customer asked her if she had a CD recorded that they may buy. And a famous person was born.

Since those days in the 80’s, Lorie Line has recorded over 30 albums, published numerous sheet music books, faithfully put on a steller annual Christmas concert tour, and built a mansion on Lake Minnetonka. I first became aware of her in the third year of my piano lesson taking, and, being a young and impressionable young girl, I was amazed at this woman who hadn’t enough “official” musical talent to make it as a musician, yet put on  more concerts than  Liberace and lived like a rockstar. I continuously bought her music books until I began to realize that, “Hey. I could arrange music like this myself, and NOT pay $35 per book.” I still admired her, though, because she has a talent that I do not- she can listen to a song once, and put it to music. Give me any Beethoven or Mozart sheet music, and I will be able to sight read it surprisingly well, but playing by ear is something I have never been able to do.

Lorie has been described as the female Liberace, and rightly so. The only difference between the two is that instead of buying Swarovski-encrusted pianos, Lorie buys Swarovski-encrusted stillettos. If you ask almost any person in  Minnesota, (or the surrounding states) they will describe her as an amazing pianist who puts on quite a show.

So imagine my surprise when a few weeks ago, my Auntie mentioned the fact that Lorie Line was selling her Meditteranean-inspired castle for only $4,000,000. I immediately went online to find it, because though I have seen several pictures in various home and garden magazines, I further wished to inspect Lorie’s homemaker style. Sadly, I was greatly disappointed.

Everything was beige and white. EVERYTHING. There was not one room that sported a fuschia dash of color or a royal purple stripe. Sure, there were fantastic wing-backed chairs- in white. No velvety green or Yamaha blue. As I paged through the online photos, I understood that Lorie was selling her house because it was depressingly boring.

A few days later, I talked to my Grammy, who told me Lorie’s house was, in fact, in foreclosure. I was unbelieving. How could a pianist who charges $35 per sheet music book, $16 per CD, and $65 per concert ticket be going into foreclosure?! I will tell you. Because she spent too much frickin’ money on beige, that’s how.

I am convinced that any person who goes through life beige and becomes complacent and accepting of that fact is destined to become a pauper. May this be a lesson to you all- you will always find success if you don a fuschia shirt.