Happy Birthday To You, Dr. Seuss!


This is a birthday poem,

A poem just for you!

The indelible, incredible

immeasurable Dr. Seuss!

You brought us the Sneetches,

And Marvin K. Mooney,

The Grinch, and his

Fingers that look so damn pruny.

I wish that I’d known you

‘Cause nobody knows it-

Your brain was almost as

fucked up as my own is!

You wrote ’bout seven

naked Lady Godivas,

A book that, no matter how hard I look

I can’t find it.

I’m sure if alive you still were,

a collaboration by us would win us an Oscar.

But since you are dead,

there’s just one thing to do-

I’ll win my own Oscar

and dedicate it to you!

You’d be older than

Any hot guy that I crush on, but since you were brilliant,

I’d still give you a blowjob!

And so, Leo Giesel, I must now depart,

But you must know you’re always deep in my heart.

XOXO

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Filed under Books, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Poetry, Uncategorized

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