No “Breakfast” For Me

I may be the only human being in Minnesota, the great USA, or the universe for that matter who has never seen the film The Breakfast Club in its entirety.
That is not to say I am unaware of the previous existence of a man named John Hughes.

A “genius” this man has been called, and so I firmly agree, as he cast a beautifully perfect Michael Schoeffling in a little known film called Sixteen Candles.

(Here is the part where I ashamedly admit that the only part I remember of THAT movie was something about a note being passed about masturbation and who the perfect candidate was to fantasize about during. Molly Ringwald , smart girl that she was, named Michael as her alone-time Adonis- and who wouldn’t?)

Pretty in Pink, John Cusack, that dude that married Megan Fox- these are all creations of Mr. Hughes and his amazing teenage-angst-ridden mind. This is why I’ve had a bug up my ass for the last week about finally watching his masterpiece The Breakfast Club.

I journeyed to Target on a mission- that of picking up this classic film for under $10, where I was convinced I had seen it available for consumption on numerous occasions. Imagine my shock and despair after I roamed the aisles of DVDs and blue Rays only to find my basket empty. (Except for some sparkly makeup).

“C’est la vie”, I said, “Walmart will have it.”

It was not so.

A sense of panic and irritation came over me when I exited the double doors of said big box store- How was I to relish the thrill of Judd Nelson’s questionable acting abilities if I could not locate the desired product? There was only one more place to try.

I have discovered that unless you have unlimited amounts of credit on your AmEx card, travelling to Best Buy is not for you. If you wish to purchase a big-ticket item such as a 55″ flatscreen or the newest Ipad for many dollars, Best Buy is for you. Otherwise, there’s not much to look at except cords and wiring for your surround sound. (And attractive techy men.)

I unwilling set foot inside Best Buy and sauntered over to the one (yes, ONE) aisle of DVDs. I will let you decide what I did NOT discover there.

And so, I am distraught, for I will not be able to reminisce about an 80’s movie I have never seen, nor join in any kind of club for breakfast, because every fuckin’ store I’ve been to has decided to take it off of their shelves because I finally want to watch it. Thank God for Amazon. But now I have to wait for it. Grrrr.