Drunk I May Be


But feelings I still have.

The fact seems to have escaped my Rockstar.

After a non-grueling day as a Pizza Slut, I arrived home and proceeded to get pleasantly buzzed, thanks to a little (or big) bottle of 99 Apples.

My Rockstar and I sat down and amiably zoned out on a TV show we both enjoy; I cooked him a drunken grilled Cheese, my specialty, ( a grilled cheese slightly askew made with love and Colby Jack cheese), when all of a sudden, his Daddy Dear called. I decided to play a funny, and while he conversed with his male creator, I proceeded to don his newly washed swim trunks over my yoga capris, and my only-minutely small bra over the tank top I was already wearing. I reaped a smile, and perhaps a squashed man-giggle, before he bid adieu to his daddy. I mentioned the obvious swim trunks, when he decided to be his ass-faced self.

“Yeah, my pants used to fit you.”

I admit here that I have gained only two pounds since I last tried his pants on for fun, and so I took this as an affront. (Even more so due to my drunken state.)

I have never once professed to be a skinny-minny; in fact, the opposite is true. I admit to fatness on a daily basis, though I appreciate the times when  people decide to disagree with me. HOWEVER, I may not be a Mena Suvari, but I care (at least sometimes) about other people’s feelings, and would never tell my semi-cute girlfriend with the big boobs that she was less than perfect. That is for people who are jealous of her to do.

‘Tis true that I am more than a little inebriated, but I can still spell inebriated without spellcheck, which means my feelings can still be hurt. And so I persevered in ignoring him for the remainder of the evening, which only resulted in his going to bed early. Fuckin’ A.

8 Comments

Filed under Beauty, Humor, Life, Love, Uncategorized

8 responses to “Drunk I May Be

  1. You cooked him a grilled cheese sandwich and entertained him whilst he was in the middle of what could have been a boring conversation. He then criticized your love handles and went to bed early. Nice way of saying “thanks for being such an awesome girlfriend. I love you.”

  2. cooper

    he needs to re-think his approach to fashion….among other things

  3. uummm… I can’t spell inebriated when I am sober… with a spell checker… and I am back on the blog, so thanks for everything.

  4. That was MEAN. He owes you an apology.

  5. This is hilarious! (Not that he insulted you, but rather your writing style). They have no filter between their brain–>mouth sometimes do they? I usually like to reply with the always effective: ‘Oh, you don’t care if you NEVER have sex again, do you?’

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