Good Girls Only Please


So I was listening to Lex and Terry on the radio the other day when they were giving advice to a dumb young dude who was going to marry a much older woman with a kid. They then got to talking about good girls versus sluts and the like, and how most men will never marry the girl the had the most amazing, naughty, unspeakable sex with, but will always marry the good girl. That explains a lot.

The more I got to thinking about it, the more pissed off I got. Not because I am the girl no guy would ever marry, after all, I bake cupcakes and pack lunches for my beloved and am not opposed to bringing new life forth based off of our undying love and all that bullshit. That, and the fact that I was married once, and have yet to decide on whether I would repeat those shenanigans. No, I was pissed off, because how stupid are men?

There are enough men who have readily admitted that they think with the brains that are located between their legs. If that is true, then would it not benefit them to marry the girl who so completely satisfies those brains on a daily basis? Instead, men are too embarrassed to admit their lack of emotional what-have-you, and marry the virgin, or the girl who might not necessarily be willing to give a blow job, just to be able to show her off to mom and say, “Isn’t she a perfect lady?” But really, where does this leave them?

I’ll tell you.

It leaves them overly horny and hunting about for a bad girl to satisfy their un-attended to needs. And when they find the girl that’s willing, it leaves their good girl home alone or hanging with her friends while the dude is out tying up the bad girl and doing her in  the butt before spraying his load all over her face because he would never dare to do that to his perfect wife. Sure, maybe some of these dudes don’t actually go cheat on their good wives, but those are the ones who develop carpal tunnel from jacking off in front of the computer while WATCHING some dude spurt his load all over some slutty girl’s face. So how does this a wonderful marriage create?

I admit that I do not know the sexual habits of all married couples, but there are quite a few married men that have had the balls to ask for favors from me in the past because they weren’t getting what they wanted at home. To them I said, “That’s YOUR fault, buddy. Maybe you shoulda married a bad girl.”

And really, why is a girl who is up for lots of sex considered at bad girl in the first place? And what if a girl likes sex, yet will still bake you cupcakes? Is she a good girl or a bad girl? Oh my God, I sound like I’m in Oz- “Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?”

And I completely realize that sex is not all that a relationship should be based on, but I certainly know what a lack of it can do to a marriage. I believe a good  marriage is a composed of two people who wish to grow old together, and who plan on doing it until the day one of them dies, with the help of blue pills and dentures, if necessary.

 

 

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24 Comments

Filed under Humor, Life, Love, Sex, Uncategorized

24 responses to “Good Girls Only Please

  1. Oh, now, people, let’s not forget how the girls love the ‘bad boys’ and marry the nice guys, leave their doughy pasty husbands at home to go to a strip club or whatever. This isn’t JUST a feature of masculine thought.

  2. I’ve always been an advocate of pre-marital sex. Far too many couples don’t find out if they’re sexually compatible until after it’s “too late” and they find themselves stuck in unhappy and unhealthy marriages.

    Sex + Cupcakes = AWESOME!

  3. The societal hypocrisy of the ‘good girl as wife’ syndrome is one more example of how men don’t really think things through.

  4. I love this, and agree wholeheartedly!! I am one of those “bad girls” and never seem to wind up with a decent guy, because they’re all looking for that “take home to mom” type. Ummm, yeah, so sorry your wife sucks in bed, but maybe you should’ve thought about that before you married her! lol

  5. I find it mind boggling that there is still such a double standard about women and sex. I don’t even like the use of bad girl/girl girl/slut. We are sexual creatures and sex is fun. We should not be ashamed or feel guilty for engaging in consensual sexual behavior. And I’m with you, why indeed, is a woman who is up for lots of sex somehow less “good” than a woman who thinks of sex as a chore to do to occasionally appease her significant other?

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