A Sparkly Housekeeper

I don’t know if it is a normal habit of people unsatisfied in their current careers, but I spend a shameful amount of time looking at the job ads on Craigslist. I generally look under the restaurant listings, as I am more likely to make the most dollars flashing my smile while catering to people stuffing their faces. However, during my perusal of Craigslist, I’ve sent my resume to a bank, a law firm, a nanny agency, and a plethora of other odd jobs. I’ve even considered applying at the Fantasy French Maids agency I discovered is in my town, but I wouldn’t want to put all the other French maids out of business, so I refrained.

I’ve found in my scrolling of hopeful jobs, that I seem to gravitate to the housekeeper type positions. Perhaps it is my unintentional goal to become Mrs. Doubtfire, or maybe I just don’t want to deal with the pain of having to work constantly with fucktards. Either way, I began imagining myself as some wealthy person’s maid, and I was not at all repulsed by the idea.

How fuckin’ weird am I? Most people dream of having a mansion on a hill with a yacht parked in the marina that they can drive to in their Porshe. I’d be content cleaning that fucking huge-ass house for $15- $20 dollars an hour. At least until I finish writing my bestseller and get my own castle. I wouldn’t even mind wearing a frilly, bust-enhancing maid’s costume while I did so.

Is this what I aspire to? Picking up after some arrogant CEO and his children who are being raised by a nanny? Yay me. (Sense the hint of sarcasm.)