I’ve been accused more than once of being unedited. Hell, I’ve even been fired from a job for writing the things I was thinking in my head. Sometimes, I just get really tired of people not saying what they’re thinking, so I will be the one. Sadly, by the end of this post, I may come off as a huge bitch. But sometimes a long bout of holding in what I’m actually thinking results in a bad case of virtual verbal diarrhea.
People be having some UGLY babies- Am I the only one who thinks all these babies people are having on Facebook aren’t as cute as they should be? Let me be clear- the premature ones don’t count, because they just wanted to hop outta the oven before it was time. I’m talking about all the other ones. And when people keep commenting, “Oh, I’m so happy for you, your baby is adorable!” and “What a cutie!”, I just want to comment too (in a Spanish accent, of course), and say, “You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.” I know people don’t have control over what their kid looks like, but GEEZ, I don’t think I want one if the majority of them look like Gollum.
If you’re completely miserable with your spouse, or boyfriend/girlfriend, be done with them- This may seem harsh, and if you have children with this person, it’s a bit harder situation to get out of, but no amount of drinking or bickering or pretending is going to do any good for your kids. Yes, marriage is supposed to be a life-long commitment, but there are just some people who were silly enough to marry someone they didn’t like very much, with the idea, “Hey, it’s ok. I’ll just go out with my friends a lot and drink to drown the fact that my wife/ husband is a complete bitch/ asshole.” Well, enjoy your perfectly pretended life. As for you all who are not married to your asshole, dump him/her immediately. And no, I am not going to be the person to make your life better with amazing sex, because I am smart enough to be with someone who does NOT annoy the shit outta me.
That chic shouldn’t be wearing that/ or SHOULD be wearing that- sometimes people shouldn’t clothe themselves the way they do. Yes, I’ve preached tirelessly about fat people in stretchy pants, but I am also including here the sermon about skinny girls with love handles who continuously wear low-rise jeans. Just ’cause you ain’t got no cushion for the pushin’ don’t mean that you’re toned. As evidenced by the cellulite once sported by my size 00 ex-sister-in-law. And Miley, put some damn clothes on, already. Yes, we get it. You’re edgy and controversial. Or suffering from multiple drug addictions.
Kids are sometimes not your entire world- I realize that since I have borne no offspring from my loins, I cannot fully understand how a child changes you and makes you devote your entire being to them; however, I have known enough people who have little to no patience for their humanoid cubs, and would rather be out partying with their friends. I know that no parent is suppose to come out and say, “I’d like a day off”, but I urge each and every one of you to realize that it’s ok to admit parenting is at times a trying and monotonous task, and is sometimes best replaced with a stripper pole and a shot of whisky. This doesn’t mean you love your children any less, it just means you have not joined the Stepford community.
Why don’t we let educated people into America?- I realize Lady Liberty is all about giving refuge to the starving and the destitute, but wouldn’t our country benefit a little by letting in someone who is not hungry and can actually support themselves? Instead of giving a bunch of monetary support to people who don’t even bother to learn our language, why don’t we give free visas to people who ALREADY know our language and have their own money? I’m not being prejudiced. The uneducated are welcome too, but they should be given the same opportunity as I- that is, the opportunity of working more than one job just to make sure I don’t have to move to Florida in order to sleep outside and not freeze to death because I am homeless.
Sparklebumpsthebookwhore 
Now I know why we’re blogger buddies—brutal honesty!! lol I really appreciate that shit in a person. My inability to lie, or even skew, or omit the truth, sometimes puts me in predicaments, but I prefer that. I think political correctness, and the way people now cater to children and make them all believe they’re gold medal winners, is causing problems in our society. Let’s be real—I love my son, I adore him, but I need a fucking break sometimes to continue being a good mom, and on top of it, if I tell him he is the absolute best at everything he does, he is going to get a hard smack in the face with reality when he goes out into the real world!! I tell him, “Do your best. Your absolute personal best, and that’s all you can do. You have to know though, that as good as you do, there will ALWAYS be someone out there who is better than you. That is life.”
Yes! I keep telling you we are the same! And yes, you can love a child to death without telling them they hung the moon.
I support you honesty… and agree with some of it. People lie to each other. Brutal honesty isn’t a crusade. It doesn’t always make the world better. Yeah, not all kids are adorable. Does it help for the parents to know that? They are seeing the kid through the eyes of love. Because we lie to ourselves also. If we didn’t, ugly people would never fall in love with other ugly people.
But yeah, people… dress for you age and body type… please…
It’s not brutal to be honest. It’s brutal to lie to a new parent who already thinks their kid is beautiful and tell them that yes, they are, when maybe they aren’t. If it isn’t true, don’t say it. It’s pretty easy to be silent sometimes.
Ugly babies sometimes grow up to be attractive adults…
I know. That doesnt mean people can’t feel a slight disappointment at the fact that something they waited 9 months for isn’t pretty to look at.
I merely meant that we don’t need to say it out loud. We can all think it.
And I can say what I want on my own blog. People don’t have to read it if they don’t want. 😉
It just seemed like you were telling people to go around pointing out that some babies aren’t that cute. Of course you have the right to do it. It just seemed like an unusual thing to take a stand on.
Umm, have you read my blog? I don’t normally put usual things on here. And I wasn’t telling people to go around pointing it out, I was just pointing out that instead of saying, “Your baby is so cute!”, they could say, “I’m happy you have a baby.”
Okay… I wasn’t really disagreeing with you… I just like babies…
You know nobody listens to me anyway, right?
Preach it, girlfriend!