Daily Archives: April 21, 2014

Creepin’


I be creepin’….

I feel like this is or could be the title to a great hit song.

In this day and age, you ain’t nobody unless you been creeped on by some random acquaintance on Facebook.

Which means: I just made at least six people Somebody.

I promise when I sat down at my computer, it was with the only intention of writing at least three hard-to-come-by paragraphs for my novel that will be finished in about ten years. Only, I signed in to Facebook, and after clicking on several alluring ads for $17 dresses, I decided to see what my not-so-close virtual friends looked like before I knew them, or after I knew them, and what their dogs look like, and let’s not forget all those annoying Facebook babies. This is what I found out.

Some people should go back to their natural brunette hair color. (I am aware that I may be one of these “some people”.)

Some people look just a little bit better than they did last year.

Some other people looked a lot better last year.

There are just way too many damn infants on Facebook. Apparently the entire population of Minnesota and some of Wisconsin have nothing better to do than fuck like rabbits nonstop.

All of Facebook is nothing but a ruse. I once thought all those people posting pictures actually DID stuff. Now I realize they are just taking pictures nonstop of themselves in their very ordinary lives. Well, guess what, people?! I can do that too!

There are very few people who actually throw interesting-looking weddings. I’ve decided if ever I have another wedding, there will be mermaids, belly-dancers, a unicorn, a rodeo clown, and at least two pirates. (Preferably the Johnny Depp kind, not the Somali variety.)

I realize that people are probably starting to get tired of seeing me post a daily pic of my new puppy. Because I am most certainly getting tired of seeing pics of their babies.

Some people should most definitely not start their own Youtube channel, because nobody really cares where some people come from.

Damn, I’m harsh tonight. Sorry.

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Filed under Beauty, Entertainment, Family, Friendship, Humor, Life, Love, Photography, Uncategorized

Blake Shelton, Your Penis is Popular (and Other Semi-Popular Posts)


Having posted a little over 500 posts, I decided it was time to highlight the most popular posts of my blog’s lifetime thus far. I am sure this will only further make popular certain men’s junk.

Now It’s Blake Shelton’s Bulge

With a whopping 2,830 hits, it’s clear that everyone is obsessed with Blake’s vulgar bulge. Everyone,  that is, except me. I wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot pole, because with this many people googling it, it most certainly has some undesirable virus.

Straight Smut

While I am dismayed that Blake’s netherparts are what have drawn so many readers to my blog, I am quite elated that a story of my own fictional creation has made it this high on the list. Doubtless my indecent  imagination is to blame. 🙂

Female 5-Oclock Shadow

Not one of my best posts, and probably not exactly about whatever it was all those pervs were googling about.

The Histrionic

I am pleased that anyone even cares to read about the man, er, the woman behind the curtain. Bless you.

My Great Loves

Too, that anyone would care to read about what I adore.

Joe’s Junk and Other Disturbing Search Terms

It really is fucked-up, the things people google. And it’s pretty bad when I think so.

Smut-R-Us

This one was a little ways down on the list, but I figured I’d give y’all a little treat. 😉

Enjoy. XOXO

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Filed under Books, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Love, Sex, Uncategorized