It is lovely to be loved. This time, I am appreciated by one JoJo Knows Everything, who has nominated me for the Liebster Award. As a receiver of several such awards, I have adopted the tradition of not following all of the rules of such awards, but of course answering the questions asked of me, as well as sharing the requested number of facts about moi, because, really, who doesn’t want to know more about me?
The Facts:
(Here I will admit that I am running out of facts about me, because, despite what my histrionic personality will tell you, I really am not all that interesting.)
1. I wear contacts.
When I was younger, I wore glasses, but begged for contacts incessantly, because my blue-plastic-framed spectacles refused to stay put on my nose, and so my ten year old self walked around with glasses on the end of my button nose like an 80-year-old-granny.
2. I have all my wisdom teeth.
Because I am very wise. And have a big mouth.
3. I bite my nails.
A habit I have never been able to break since childhood. I believe one of my life goals at the age of eleven was to have long nails.
4. I fart.
But if you ask me, I will deny, deny, deny.
5. I think about food every second of every day.
Which is why a goodly amount of time and money are spent in a McDonald’s drive thru.
6. I refuse to live in a beige house.
People who live in beige houses are boring and perfect. While I possess a set of nearly-perfect breasts, I cannot boast that the rest of my body and mind is of such caliber. And so I must live in a rainbow house.
7. I wish to have a “Grandma Garden”.
That is, a garden perfectly groomed like one planted by a person who is retired with very little else to do. Sadly, I am much too lazy, and have things to do.
8. My Rockstar has a perfect man ass.
I realize this fact is not exactly about me, but here you go- I spend an exorbitant amount of time thinking about sinking my teeth into his perfect man ass.
9. I cannot help but stare at the eyebrows of people who have filled them in with eyebrow pencil.
I just can’t help it.
10. I’m having hip problems at 32.
Probably due to the extensive high-heel collection I have, and the sometimes excessive on-top sex I have with my Rockstar.
11. My dog farts.
And if you asked her, if she hadn’t a long tongue, she would probably admit it.
Now on to the questions asked of me!
- Why do you write?
I write to keep from crying. And I write because I cannot teach. And I write because I’m supposedly good at it.
2. Pick one thing, event, or person that has made you a writer.
Earnest Hemingway. Not really, because I haven’t actually read any of his books, but if you can go through life in an alcohol-induced haze and still be recognized for your writing so many years later, that’s something.
3. How many people do you know named Josh?
One, two… nope. Just one.
4. Who is your writing inspiration?
My blog readers. Because without them, I would just be a diarist.
5. How many days a week/month do you work on your blog?
Not as often as I used to, but probably more than I should.
6. Where do you feel most at home?
In bed, lying on my back, with my Rockstar’s arm flung over my belly and my legs flung over his.
7. If you could have a magical power what would it be?
Being awesome. Apparently, I was born magical.
8. The one place you have to see before you die.
Oz.
9. How do you feel about Highlander?
I’ve never seen it, but I feel it must be amazing.
10. Worst flavor?
Anything on Cornuts.
11. You’re in a cave. To your left is a mammoth grizzly bear with its arms wrapped around the thing you love most in the world. Armed only with your wits and a small bread pudding, what do you do?
Charge the bear while screaming “aiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiiaiaiai!” and bop it in the head with the bread pudding. Duh.
The rest of the rules I shall toss to the wind, but take the time to explore my comments, and you will surely find some smart blogs to read. XOXO
Sparklebumpsthebookwhore 