Category Archives: Poem

Who Are You?


“Who are you?”

That was the first question in

Mcleod’s Getting To Know Yourself.

Ironic, isn’t it,

that a book that’s supposed to

help you find yourself expects you to tell it

who you are?

I could write my name in the blank line,

but I’m sure that’s not what Mcleod meant-

since there are seven more blank lines.

I look up at the ceiling,

pondering.

Who am I?

I wonder aloud.

Just then,

I notice the sparkles on the ceiling I’m looking at.

I’ve lived here for three years and never realized

I’ve been living under an artificial Home Depot sky.

I come back to the task at hand.

I put pen to paper-

the handwriting I hate that is mine comes out in a

beautiful fuschia gel shade.

I am a person who talks to herself,

gets distracted by sparkly things,

and is, at times, completely un-observant.

I nod, satisfied.

I think Mcleod would approve.

I continue.

I am terrible at making decisions.

I pause.

But once I make one, I do not change my mind.

Not entirely true,

since I was once married,

and am no longer.

What Mcleod doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

That reminds me.

I am someone who cheats.

No.

I am someone who cheats. I have cheated in past lives, but not in this one.

Much better.

Now on to the nitty gritty.

The thoughts come faster than I can write

and I forget a few.

I am a mother, but have no children.

I long for a father, but refuse to forgive the one I have.

I love alone time, but am terrified to be abandoned.
I work hard, but am irrevocably lazy.

I believe in God, but I think He can be an asshole sometimes.

I want to be a writer, but find every excuse not to write.

I am amazingly stubborn, yet I compromise more than anyone else I know.

I am the saddest girl there ever was,

yet everyone that knows me say,

“How happy she is!”

That’s the one that always gets me.

Unforgettable, cunt, beautiful, odd-looking, sexy, dorky, talented, loser, amazing,

These are all words others have used to describe me;

I cannot help but wonder who it is they are talking about.

When I look in the mirror,

I am just me.

I read everything I’ve just written.

Contradictions, every single one.

I toss Mcleod’s Getting To Know Yourself on the floor, irritated.

How are you supposed to know who you are when

everything about you is a paradox?

I look back up at my imitation stars.

I think a moment,

about all that I have done,

the people I have known,

the lives I have lived;

then resolutely, I pick up Mcleod’s self help book.

I scribble a little on the corner of a page

to make sure my fuschia pen still works

before I write one more thing.

I am Love.

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Beauty, Family, God, Life, Love, Poem, Poetry, Uncategorized

For the Love of Shoes


There are many many kinds of shoes.

There are shoes that are black.

There are shoes that are bright.

There are shoes for the daytime,

and shoes for the night.

There are sandals for summer,

There are boots for the fall.

There are shoes that wear fat feet,

and some that wear small.

Tall shoes, flat shoes, sneakers, Mary Janes,

There are even special shoes for people with canes.

There are shoes for the farm,

and shoes for the city.

Some that are ugly,

but most shoes are pretty.

Shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes,

All the wonderful shoes!

All shoes are good shoes,

whichever you choose!

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Filed under Beauty, Fashion, Humor, Life, Love, Poem, Poetry, Uncategorized

The Tree


To escape the Evil giving chase,

I climbed the only tree I could see.

When my hands wrapped around it’s ridged branches

it enclosed it’s shelter close around me.

How could I feel

anything other than safe

when the breath fo God, His Love,

surrounds me in this Given Place?

The Hounds of Hell are yet

snapping at my heels;

but holy Love, and Peace, and Laughter

extinguish any horror that I feel.

What Joy I feel! What Euphoria and Bliss!

The wooden limbs part,

as Sun bestow’s Heaven’s kiss.

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Filed under Beauty, God, Life, Poem, Poetry, Uncategorized

Life Support


When I come up to him and run my fingers through his hair, he leans into me and wraps his arms around my waist, and I feel safe.

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Filed under Beauty, Life, Love, Poem, Uncategorized

A Drunken Love Song To Me


So, I was just deleting old texts from my phone and came across this. I’ve told my Rockstar that he isn’t the perfect man until he writes me a song.When he sent this, he was away for the night and drank half a bottle of Evan Williams. It’s sooo romantic….

“My baby got triple D’s.

Ya know those tities too much 4 me.

But I like to bury my face in them anyway.

I do the tity wap slap tity squeez grab

fuck the mountains on you.”

P.S. I never said he could spell. 😉

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Filed under Family, Humor, Life, Love, music, Poem, Uncategorized

An Untitled Disturbing Poem


Woohoo! 2 postings in one day! Aren’t you all so lucky? Here is a poem a wrote in the height of my depression days. That’s the thing about unmedicated bi-polarism. You end up with poems like this. Enjoy!

Shitty black days with the sun beating down,

my brain screams in agony

and sneering smiles are all around.

All I want is to tear those smiles up.

Coming down from a high

when there was no substance abuse

The thought slams into my mind,

How can I be of so little use?

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

It hails down on my heart

the realization of never having made a mark.

It matters not if They say

“You matter. We care.”

Doesn’t matter. Not today.

Say what you want.

it don’t mean a thing.

Piece of shit. Sinner. Cunt.

In my ears,my true names ring.

Sick, twisted anger.

Rage. Despair.

These are what is left.

The only feelings there.

Maybe if for one split second

I could feel the warmth of God’s face;

but all I feel is the lick of Devil’s tongue.

And hate has taken loves place.

“Fuck him!” the furies of my head scream.

Satan’s whore. They know what I am.

But I’ll make it a dream.

I’ll don a mask of perfect peace and smile,

though I feel his teeth ripping my guts;

exquisite pain,

til a Bleeding. Broken. Heart.

is the only thing that remains.

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Filed under Life, Poem, Poetry, Uncategorized