Pros and Cons of a Friday

Here’s a list of Pros and Cons of my day so far:

Pro: I have very smooth shaven legs today.

Con: I had to waste time shaving my legs.

Pro: Devina, the very nice T-Mobile associate I spoke to this morning, told me I had nothing to worry about when I asked her to make sure my service wasn’t disconnected today because of non-payment.

Con: I have gut rot today.

Pro: I got to see a beauteous GT Mustang on my way to work.

Con: I got to sit in traffic and breath in fresh tar fumes on my way to work.

Pro: It’s Pay Day!

Con: After I pay my bills, I will have no money left.

Pro: I’m wearing comfy yoga pants that make my butt look cute. (I think.)

Con: Sadly, heels don’t go with yoga pants, so I’m wearing non-cute shoes today.

Pro: Optimus Prime looks very “Optimum” on my Transformers T-shirt due to the extra sweater meat I possess.

Con: When I put my Transformers T-shirt on today, I was dismayed to see that it has acquired a tiny hole. (I wore it anyway.)

Pro: I got to jam out to ACDC’s Shook Me All Night Long on the way to work.

Con: The middle-aged paunchy man in the scary white van next to me was watching me jam out to ACDC’s Shook Me All Night Long.

Pro: My Rockstar bought me a lovely Cold Stone Creamery cake for my birthday last night. (What a honey!)

Con: My Rockstar is working over-time, so I didn’t get morning sex today. (Boo. Friday morning sex is our thing.)

Pro: I got a free large pizza coupon last night for completing my orientation as a Pizza Slut.

Con: If I order my free pizza today at work, I will eat it. All.

Pro: I was going to send my Rockstar a very fun nudey text to brighten his day.

Con: I realized I deleted all my fun nudey pics from my phone.

Have a Happy Friday, my Lovelys! XOXO

 

A Dear John Letter To KCLD

Dear 104.7 KCLD,

I would like to take a moment and explain why we will not be able to continue our relationship.

Our love affair started long ago when I was a teen and would spend hours listening to your station in my ex-police-issued Chevy Caprice that afforded me 14 pull-overs and two tickets. At that time, you played great songs such as “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” and “Black Balloon” by the Goo-Goo Dolls, and the lesser great but still acceptable “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing”. And shame on you for playing that awful Chumbawumba song.

Through-out the years, my attentions have strayed and matured to other local radio stations such as Rockin’ 101 and 93X. My affections only recently have returned to you because my almost POS Cougar lacks an antenna. Silence has been, at many times, preferable to the squalor of untalented ass-buckets you now play. Can you say Lady Gag-Gag? (Although any song containing the lyrics ‘I wanna take a ride on your disco stick’ makes me giggle.) Occasionally, I will be pleasantly surprised when I switch on my radio and hear Eminem spouting less-profanic things than he has in the past, or the edited-for-public-consumption version of “Fuck You” by Cee-lo Green. I currently turned the dial to you hoping to hear the depressing and haunting Adele’s “Someone Like You”, only to be appalled and disappointed to hear The Fray  (The Frey?) whining at me.

No, KCLD, I do not wish to hear how Adam Levine has got the “Moves Like Jagger”, and the only time I want to hear about anyone “lighting it up like dino-mite” is when ACDC is singing “TNT”. I believe Adele was ending an affair with her local pop radio station as well when she wrote the words, “Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.” Perhaps if you allowed me to hear more that the last line of that song, we would not be here now. Au revoir.