Men, boys, she-males-
I have a bone to pick with you.
And yes, it’s the bone in your pants that I’m talking about. (Even thought I’ve been told it’s not actually a bone.)
But it’s not in the context you’d expect from me.
I am pissed. (In every sense of the word.)
I would like to know- exactly what the fuck is so hard about pointing your dick in the general 12-14″ that is allotted from a urinal and actually pissing IN the thing, as opposed to IN FRONT of it?!
Is it that you are standing too far away, and your urinal stream lacks the power to get to it’s destination?
Is it that you are so distracted by having you penis in your hands that you just “forget” so pee where you are supposed to?
I really want to know.
I am not blaming the ENTIRE male species for this transgression; no. But I have asked many guys that I’ve worked with if they are the individuals pissing on the floor in the bathroom, and no ones copping to it. So until I get an honest answer, you are ALL under suspicion.
I know it IS quite possible for men to NOT know where to aim their thingys, (I believe I’ve said once or twice, “You missed the hole.”) But sex is a completely different matter. Peeing is something you’ve been doing since birth, so there is no reason that after all this time, you don’t know what you’re doing.
So the only other excuse I come up with is- you just don’t give a shit.
And in that case, I say, “FUCK YOU.”
It is not the complete joy of my life to mop up a pile of misguided piss every night at work simply because you lack the manners to aim.
If I have to stand there with my whip and MAKE you aim correctly, I will.
But I somehow don’t think you want that.
If you do not take into consideration that a girl as nice as me has to clean up your bodily waste matter, the next male I see come out of the bathroom, I WILL MAKE YOU LICK IT UP!!!!! I bet you won’t let that happen again.
That’s all I have to say about that.
Except, please make sure you wash your hands after you pee in the designated area. Thank you.
Sparklebumpsthebookwhore 