Tag Archives: boobs

The “Perks” of Being 30


I am sad to say that through-out my 20’s, my excessive buzooms were never quite as perky as I would have liked. The term “nipping out” didn’t generally apply to me. Oddly enough, the girls have decided in their old age to change their ways. Apparently, they are planning on aging as gracefully as the rest of me, because for the past few months, my nipples have been saying, “Look at us! We exist! We will NOT be hidden underneath ANY kind of bra material or shirtness!”

Just thought you all would like to know.

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Standing Out


Here was my autotopic of choice for the week:

In what ways do you stand out?

I could mention the obvious two (DDD’s) but you already know that.

So let me think for a moment…

I find myself to be very amusing to myself, which in turn amuses other people. Especially when I’m drunk. Only the people who’s bubbles I invade do not find me amusing.

I will always tell you what I think, but if it comes out before I can edit it in my mind, I will usually apologize for it and re-issue my opinion after further thought.

I will never be in a relationship based on the amount of dollars the man brings home on payday. I’ve considered rethinking this one, but I am much to impractical and romantic to change my mind.

I do not think that gold lame’ is only for Halloween.

My hair color changes very frequently. Oft times quite dramatically as well.

My Rockstar says I have the style of a New Yorker, which is unfortunate, since I live smack dab in the middle of Stretchy Pants and T-shirtville.

I play an instrument, and better than decently.

I can have sex like a man. (i.e. wham, bam, thank you, ma’am…or sir. I’ll call you.)

I have no bubble and I will hug…pretty much anybody. With their permission. Usually.

I prefer driving a stick shift; I can change a tire; and I know how to change my oil. (But I wait for my Rockstar to do it.)

I wore a pink wedding dress.

I’ve been told my face is different, unique, odd-looking, and ethnic. (Not all at once.)

I am maybe the only person I know who is trying to decide wether to join the army or go to beauty school.

I aced Biology, even though I didn’t dissect the rat. Or the frog. Or the piglet.

I would like to be friends with my Rockstar’s exes.

I would give my life for anybody if the opportunity presented itself.

“Life doesn’t frighten me, not at all.” (Thank you for putting my thoughts into words, Maya Angelou)

There are 47 other reasons I stand out, and they all fit on my feet.

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