Tag Archives: boss

The Concept of Caring

I had a talk with an employee the other day, and it was brought to my attention that the fact that I “don’t care about my job may have a negative affect on my employees.”
Now, to be fair, he was only quoting me about the “not caring” part. Because since I have been in my powerless position of power as Head Pizza Slut, the fact that I get none of the benefits to do all the work has made me somewhat of an underachiever as far as making my store “all it can be”. I believe my exact words were something along the lines of- “If my boss had found somebody better than me, he probably would have replaced me by now.”
It’s true, this is a terrible attitude to have, but after numerous conversations with my Boss With the Gorgeous Blue Eyes, he has confessed that he would rather have my half-assery as a faux general manager with my full amazing personality and specific set of job skills, than a manager giving his complete dedication with half as much personality and less multi-tasking ability than I. (At least until June) In other words, I don’t completely suck. Hence, I have come to the conclusion that I needn’t strain myself, as I will be getting paid the same amount of dollars despite my performance.
While there are those who may balk at such an attitude, I must point out that I have been begging for a demotion for the last six months- ever since I realized that I could have the same amount of pay with a quarter of the responsibility by just being a plain old server. So when my co-worker told me he may have to call my boss about my attitude, I said, “Please do.”
I decided long ago that in order to be the “manager” that I “should” be, I would have to work 80 hours a week for at least six months to ensure that everyone was trained and performing their duties to my satisfaction. While I have the work ethic to support such a commitment, I do not have the desire- at least not for pizza. Put me in a bookstore, or a shoe store, and I will gladly “care” enough to want to be there 700 hours a week. Hell, I wouldn’t even need any other employees in that case.
When I made this confession to my boss back then, and explained that my efforts would best be used elsewhere, he understood. Yet he has failed to replace me with someone more “caring”. And so, I am convinced he is resigned to my position on the matter.
In the end, I have composed a list of things more worthy of my caring efforts than giving away free pizza to unsatisfied customers: (because I have to give them free food, even when I KNOW that shit wasn’t fucked up)
1. Finishing my book(s)- I know it’s getting annoying that you all haven’t had a chance to run out and buy my best-selling novel that hasn’t been finished yet.
2. My family- ‘Twould be lovely to take my Rockstar’s Daughter to the zoo or for he and I to start the band we’ve wanted to for the last THREE YEARS….
3. Bloggery- because, after all, I have fans and shit.
4. Exercising- or baking cupcakes. (I lean toward the latter)
5. Becoming amazingly and ridiculously famous- I’m sure this would come with the publishing of my book(s).

P.S. To be clear, another employee has pointed out that I’m “the worst boss ever. For the company, that is. I’m great for the employees.”



Filed under Humor, Life, Uncategorized, Work

Determination of Ineligibility

You all should know by now that The Price of Fame is… Termination. Being the vindictive little bitch that I am, I decided that I would try to get unemployment since I so meaninglessly got fired. I did not fully expect to get said moneys, since I suppose it WAS partially my own fault that I got fired. But I am slightly baffled by the “reasonings and findings” that the state of Minnesota has found to not issue me dollars. Here is the letter I received from them:

Under Minnesota Statute, and applicant is not eligible for unemployment benefits if the applicant is discharged for employment conduct. The law defines employment misconduct as intentional or negligent conduct that is a serious violation of standards of behavior the employer has the right to reasonably expect. A single incident with no significant negative effect on the employment is not employment misconduct. The employer discharged the applicant because of employment misconduct. The applicant’s conduct was intentional or negligent, and was a serious violation of the standards of behavior that the employer has the right to expect.

The applicant was discharged because she maintained a public blog site that contained critical commentary about her employer and the employer’s customers.

Well, la dee da. I understand that I am ineligible. What I don’t understand is that they specifically verify that ” a single incident with no significant negative effect is not employment misconduct”. They are virtually pointing out that I did nothing wrong. As I stated when filling out my papers, I NEVER was warned that I was misconducting myself in any way, which to me means: Yo! It was a first offense. As for significant negative effect- I am sure the remaining suck-ass manager is causing much more negative effect than I EVER could. When I had customers coming in and I quote, “wouldn’t buy books when that weird guy is here.”, I would consider that a negative effect, wouldn’t you?

As far as intentional conduct, it was not the intent of my blog to scare customers away. I would like to point out that my blog continues to live, whether I have a job at that bookstore or not. This proves that I am neither intentionally or negligently dealing with customers.

A serious violation of standards? So it’s quite aright for a manager to inform me that he redesigned his closet doors with mirrors so he could get a nice view of he and his wife having sex? It’s totally fine for a person of power to tell me he is “concerned for me” because he believes my sexual preferences lean toward women? It is in the store’s best interest to keep on the payroll a man who has had sexual misconduct claims made against him in the past? What the fuck was I thinking? Of course my nameless rants against customers are worse. They absolutely were correct in firing me. I have nothing more to say.




Filed under Humor, Life, Uncategorized, Work

Team Member Assessment

Happy Thursday, my Lovelys! Thanks for all the birthday wishes! It was a perfect day filled with pizza, peach schnapps, sex, Chris Meloni,  (unfortunately the 2 previous were not intermingled) and getting hired as a Pizza Slut. Yes, I am now privileged employee of Pizza Hut- I think because I told my new boss Christophe (I believe him to be Yugoslavian, perhaps) that if he wanted to call me he’d have to call the bookstore because I am too poor to pay my phone bill. (Tricksy, ain’t I?) So, yay me! Tonite I have orientation. Before I was interviewed, though, I had to fill out a Team Member Assessment Survey. Let me just give you my opinion of those…

Team Member Assessment: Def. A little form businesses that are chains have come up with to weed out the nuts and/or  imbecilic potential employees. Similiar to a multiple choice test; the answers being Strongly Agree, Agree, Neutral, Disagree, and Strongly Disagree. (I believe you have to be a complete ‘tard not to be able to pass one of these.)

So one of the questions on my little assessment sheet : “I find it acceptable to take small amounts of money from the register when I don’t feel I am getting paid enough.” I don’t know what kind of moron would actually mark “”Strongly Agree” or even less passionately “Agree”. If you are trying to get a job, I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell your potential employer you plan on stealing. I don’t really know what else to say about that.

Another question: “If I have a disagreement with a co-worker, I try to resolve it in a fair and pleasant manner.” As much as I wanted to put a side-note on this one stating, “When I disagree with a co-worker, the bastard better keep the fuck outta my way, or they may find me behind their car when they leave and obtain the beating that’s coming to them.” However, I decided a friendly approach would better suit.

Question #3: “When I see a co-worker doing something the wrong way, I

A.Tell them they are doing it wrong.

B.Tell my manager.

C.Fix it myself.

D.Complain to other co-workers about it.

This one I may have gotten wrong, because I chose all of the above.

Question #4: “When a new employee is hired, I

A.Try to get them involved in team activities.

B.Invite them to join me outside of work.

C.Ignore them.

D. Gossip with them.”

This was another tricky one. I will admit, I am not exactly a team player. I tend to do things myself so I know they are done right. But A. seemed to be the answer they were likely looking for. If I don’t like someone, chances are that I will NOT be inviting them to join me outside of work, I will most likely ignore them, and I will be gossiping ABOUT them.

So, obviously I passed my assessment, though how close I was to failing I guess we’ll never know. But when most of the questions pertain to stealing from the company, I don’t know how someone could NOT pass. I WILL say that I am an excellent worker that gets annoyed with dumbshits that can’t do their jobs. I don’t know if that qualifies me as a team player.



Filed under Humor, Life, Money, Uncategorized, Work